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61 Days! - Yet Again Cannot Think Of An Interesting Title So: Flappy Turkey Chin.

Renn17

154 views

THERE'S A MOOSE LOOSE ABOOT ME garden. Well, technically it's a rat-grey, about 6", excluding the tail, with a medium build (this is starting to sound like a description on Crimewatch). It was dining on some of my dog's finest excretion and ran away when I opened the door-didn't even pay the bill! We've had to phone the Council because apparently it's illegal to have rats in your garden(?) which I don't understand because it's not like people purposely smuggle rats into their gardens for the pleasure of their company. Unless they're one of those crazy cat ladies, but are too indie for cats and choose to obsess over vermin instead.

[Realistic ghost noise here] It's Halloween! Not that I've got anything to be excited about. Don't go trick-or-treating and never have, "Nar yu not gannin trick-a-treet'n. It's a form ov beggin', man!"-said in broad Geordie accent, dad-style. Also, there's no kids living on my street so nobody comes trick-or-treating. I live on a street full of 80+ year olds, and because of this whenever I hear the phrase 'girl-next-door' I picture a saggy woman with a perm called 'Glenda' or 'Helga' with a wobbly voice. Why does your voice go wobbly when you get old anyway? Does all the jelly you've eaten over your lifetime accumulate?

Now I'm getting tired and hungry so the following might be missing a few verbs:

Hips hurt clicking noise ow, knee creaky ooo hate it, lip spot go boom red, yesterday stingy now burny.



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I'll trade you the jelly-accumulating, wobbly-voiced Helga's and Glenda's for the little bastards who keep ringing our door bell. Someone's gonna get punched in the face pretty soon and that will be a fight which little Timmy won't win! :box:

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My neighbour just rang:

Old person: Hello? It's Bill. I've just phoned the police.

Me: Why?

Old person: I can hear noises outside.

Me: It'll just be trick-or-treaters.

Old person: Trick-or-treaters? What are them?

Me: It's Halloween Bill.

Old person: WELL I KNOW THAT! *attitude* One of them just put a key in my door and tried to open it

Me: Right...ok. Bye.

Old people on my street are so rude! He rings the police 4-5 times a week saying there's a burglar in his garden but feels the need to phone us too for attention. Why would a random kid try and open his door? Where'd they get a copy of his key from? Hope I don't end up that paranoid when I'm old.

Little Timmy and co. are really just acceptable, 'cute' thieves, but instead of a gun they use the threat of a 'trick' to get the goods. Also, that emoticon looks like two fighting potatoes!

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Spud boxing - all the rage in Albania, so I'm told.

Oh, and that flappy bit. It's called a Wattle. We be learned! biggrin.png

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Haha-Wattle! However, I still prefer 'flappy turkey chin', it think it's the scientific term for it.

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