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The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth (Day 71)



Warning! This post may contain material which is unsuitable for individuals that are easily offended. Rated R18+ (Restricted to persons 18 and over) due to frightening scenes, crude content, images of gore and disturbing content.

(May also include material of a tedious and anticlimactic nature. Frightening scenes, images of gore not guaranteed. Care should be taken to avoid viewing with the zoom function).

Hi All. Well I'm kind of cheating with this one, and doing a quick entry for yesterday, since I'm a bit behind (I have no excuse for this except pure laziness. I notice some other unnamed bloggers are also supsiciously quiet, what're your excuses, hmm??).

So since I last blogged I've broken out a bit more, with a couple of new additions on my forehead (naturally) and my shoulder (ditto). Not sure what these are from (everyone always seems to attribute breakouts to certain things; foods, makeup, change in regimen, etc.), so I'm just going to chalk it up to my acne-tastic skin. I was on the phone to Mum yesterday (actually we were on Viber, which is always a hilarious activity since Mum's a bit technologically disabled when it comes to her phone. When she finds a message on her phone she is always extremely guilty, and says "Oh no, I missed a message!" completely seriously... Every. Single. Time. No matter how many times I tell her you can't miss a message, only a call, and that's kind of the whole point of messages)... Oh crap, where was I? That was a long segue, even for me! Ah yes, I on a call to my mum, who is extremely suspicious of the whole acne diagnosis, since I've never had it before, and it came up so quickly. She thinks I should go to a dermatologist for a second opinion, and in fact told me after that that I needed to ask the doctor for an "abdominal ultrasound" to check for "polycystic syndrome"- Thanks Mum!! Seriously, it's amazing I didn't turn into the biggest hypochondriac on the planet, with the amount of obscure diseases Mum knows about (she's health obsessed, and was doing things like boycotting plastic containers long before the potential carcinogenic link was mainstream).

Still, in saying that it's a little surprising I'm not convinced the antibiotics are doing the job, and I don't want to take them unless it's imperative, so I may have to schedule a trip back to the doctor. That could totally be a movie made about my skin journey; Back to the Doctor. It would be a horror, of course, and star Anne Hathaway, who I apparently look like when I'm all made up (I think it's something to do with my big mouth and presence of teeth, hehehe).

In a life update I spent pretty much all of yesterday cleaning the house, while my housemate had a massage and champagne high tea, the freaking bastard. Did a proper spring clean (e.g. vacuum and mopped everything, moved drawers to clean behind them, did skirting boards and switches, etc.), which took about five hours. It's so annoying, my housemate will "clean" for about ten mins (take out the vacuum cleaner, and then push it around for about thirty seconds in each room), and will expect constant praise for it (last time he did that he mentioned he'd vacuumed no less than five (5) times!), but when I spend the entire day actually cleaning the place, he's like "The place looks good, Oh, did I tell you about the hundred and ten dollar bottle of champagne I bought at high tea??(!!)". Seriously?! Sigh, anyway, it needs to be done because the owner might be popping in to survey our broken dryer at some stage soon.

Yesterday I gave myself a manicure (partly out of necessity because my weak nails mean they constantly crack and partially peel off, requiring filing back to practically the quip of the nail), and attempted to achieve a Bali-inspired manicure pattern with the wrong tools (I used a bobby pin instead of toothpicks, which is all I had but is vastly inferior, and also have a very limited range of polish colours, due to the fact that I'm a bit of a tom boy). It was somewhat effective, but it's a lot harder to do it on my dominant hand, so I'll have to do a proper one on one of my girlfriends at some stage, when I get the proper gear. Anyone willing to be a practice dummy? razz.gif I also asked my friend to get me some crackle nail polish from the US when she's there, so I can't wait to have a play with it when that arrives, it looks so cool!

Oh, also, for the past few months I've been getting really bad cramps in my feet and calves (aargh!!), I'm talking every day, and sometimes twice a day. I frequently have to suddenly jump up and hope around whilst cursing in front of people, who often look quite alarmed and back away slowly, hehehe. Anyone have any ideas on how to help?? I'm trying to eat bananas (for the Potassium, which is one of the things that's suggested to help), but as far as I'm aware there's no scientific consensus on what causes them and how to cure them yet.

I'm attaching the requested disgusting picture, so those that didn't heed the (somewhat melodramatic) warning at the start eusa_naughty.gif , prepare to be shocked and horrified (or underwhelmed, if you were expecting Saw-type content). I did kind of cheat though; this light is actually afternoon light, and as such isn't strictly the ugly light required. In my defence though, I didn't get up till after midday so didn't have access to morning sunlight, muahaha!


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Your mum and my mum totally compliment each other. Your mum "don't microwave your leftovers in that plastic container, it leaches chemicals into your food!!!". And my mum "ppfff...a bit of lead paint didnt harm no one!"

I suppose you were putting pressure on ME to blog. Well my ego says you were referring to me, so I guess I better get onto it.

Ps. Your skin looks beautiful. It think you're teasing me with you "flattering light" photos. PLUS your black mask shows your eyebrows...rubbing my nose in the fact that I just paid $65 for mine, and they STILL arent as impressive as yours. Everyone hates you, you know. They told me.

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Ha ha, your mum sounds so much like mine. My sister and I were once declared to have exemplar lunches by the resident health nazi. Our lunch consisted of:

  • Ham and salad sandwiches on rye
  • Vegemite crackers (not on the good sort of crackers, but the seedy, I-can-barely-digest-this sort.)
  • Carrot sticks and sultanas (this was our treat!)

But I used to trade for roll-ups when I could. Or I used to offer my services as a delivery boy to the obese wealthier children. My mum takes more supplements than any bodybuilder I know, but for every single ailment known to mankind. I don't think she'll ever die.

I'm impressed by your spring cleaning!! Apparently our skirting boards are in desperate need of attention...

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You are correct in thinking the pressure was mainly directed at you, Miss. Although now I know about your car-side snogging I can see why this update is delayed. I'm a tad jealous, last car-side snogging I was an unwitting participant in was with a friends, and was not only a) unexpected, and b) unwanted, but was also c) very wet. Seriously, he was more enthusiastic than a border collie. Any chance we can get a photo of Popcorn?? Or you could FB link me direct, even better! :D

Magnesium, huh? Worth a shot, thanks!

Your lunch sounds very similar to mine, minus the ham and plus some nuts (you should eat Brazil nuts every day for the selenium!). Our house was a pork-free zone, which is naturally why I attempt to eat bacon at least once a week these days ;) I remember for a treat we used to occasionally get Mamee noodles, but Mum would remove the flavouring sachets, which were chock-full of MSG no doubt. Ah, Good times.

Haha! I can't believe you pimped yourself out for roll-ups. Actually I kinda can, I love roll-ups.

...I would totally offer to help clean your skirting boards, except that we're not actually friends, because you never reply to my comments or messages. And that's what friends do. Reply. And offer to help clean your house when you're evicted.

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Blech, isnt the enthusiastic border collie kisser just the worse? I had one of those a few months ago, invited him back to mine for a glass of port (yes yes, and the old 'night cap' trick) but we'd no sooner sat down and he pounced on me and practically swallowed my face. And he was 42! I mean, surely you get to that age and have some idea how to kiss?!?! Totally a turn off. Damn it, I'd even changed the sheets just in case....what a waste of effort THAT was ;)

Oh, and I havent even asked popcorn is he has FB....and don't really want to either. Even though I'm one person away from having 200 friends. 200 friends! At least I would have a decent turnout to my funeral.

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Forty-two?! Crap, I was kind of hoping they'd improve with age, like a good bottle of Pinot. Oooh, what a waste of a good tipple of port (I love port). How did you manage to evict him, with him rutting your leg and licking your face??

Yes, good idea to leave that separate for now, even if you are only one person off having 200 friends (glances towards Om) Two Hundred Friends, hehehe.

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