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Try Again

Ominous1

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Oh baby, baby I want to get wit' ya, an' take ya picture. That's how I imagine the old birds from the Boundary Hotel speaking. They were standing around, guzzling down the house wine, and the darling to the left, she was dancing. By dancing I mean throwing her frail gangling limbs about like it was circa 1979, when the lanky convulsive moves of Joy Division was the acceptable dance standard of the underground indie scene. Her skin was the kind of leather I want my couch to be in; and she had less teeth than Paris Hilton has brain cells. It was quite possibly the most entertaining thing I'd seen all week. And I hear you say, what were you doing at The Boundary? Why, I was watching my workmate's band with one of my roommates and his girlfriend (how sociable is that!). Believe you me, it's not a place I frequent. But with such amusing and varied characters, I'm now reconsidering my attitude.

So, besides paying out senior citizens, I have been writing an ethics essay (ha ha) on genetic modification. It's got me thinking, so I pose you this question: If you could genetically enhance your children so that they never get acne, would you do it?

What else has happened, well I'm so entirely poor at the moment that I've been eating peanut butter sandwiches and Mi Goreng (Indonesian two-minute noodles) pretty much exclusively. But as a result of my poverty, I no longer can afford junk food. Which my skin and the rest of my body is probably thanking me for. In fact, I think I've lost about 4kg in the past month. I've decided that I will write an eBook: Fat?: How To Make Poverty Work For You!, or: Peanut Butter and Noodles: Diet Secrets Revealed. It can be yours instantly for the low, low price of $4.95*

Today, I have also been a good boy and Selsunned my face. It's so insanely itchy right now, and I can't stop scratching. I hope I don't aggravate it too much. But generally when it's flaky it fades off pretty quickly. So hopefully it'll be clear soon (so I can visit The Boundary looking my best!). My skin is really oily right now too, I think because I haven't had zinc/fish oil in a couple of days. I've popped a pimple between my eyes, it was swollen and ready to burst though (ha ha I'm sure you really wanted to know that)... I think I'll just continue smothering my face in AHA for a while, hopefully this will be my interim cure-all.

*price is not inclusive of printing charges, price is actually $4.95 per month for five years, no results are implied or intended, no diet is actually effective without a balanced lifestyle, we are not liable for any loss of weight or gain thereof. Please see website for further details.



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Okay I can read this one! And it didn't let me down. But actually it did creep me out a little bit. While you were checking out the local grey-haired Shazzas dancing up a storm in what is possibly the dodgiest pub in Brisbane, I was across the road at the Archive daintily drinking a sparkling glass of beer and discussing topics of great interest and sophistication with old friends and new.

And, actually, my friend (let's call him A) wanted to go to the ole Boundo, but I declined, because... Well, it's The Boundary, and I wasn't nearly that drunk. However, had I known there were such interesting characters (the leathery ladies, of course) and agreeable live music, I may have decided otherwise.

Also, what the heck do you call Mi Goreng if not junk food?! I hate to burst your bubble, but Mi Goreng, although it tastes like flavour-enhanced deliciousness, contains more fat than a returning Japanese scientific research vessel.

Where can I buy that book?! I'll take two!

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Excellent. Wow, aren't you the classy one. I'll have you know that our conversation was highly sophisticated. It was something about Mexico, and picking up Spanish women. That night I figured that you only live once, and I should visit The Boundo, and punch it into my belt as a life experience. Sadly I wasn't even remotely drunk, going to the Boundo sober is a scary thing.

Ha ha, I love your fat metaphor! It's true, Mi Goreng is junk food. But it doesn't really matter because I eat my noodles sparingly and they're like the cheapest and quickest hot meal there is. Plus they don't contain dairy.

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Classy. That's exactly what I am.

You went there sober?! Wow. I admire your gumption. I'll have to admit I've not actually gone there before, so maybe it's not as bad as I picture in my head. What is your friend's band called? I love the local music scene here, I really should stop being slack and get out and see more of it.

Holy heck, Om, that's pretty bad, now I feel like I just need to feed you! Why are you so poor, are you not on a scholarship, or working or anything?

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You know, that's not a very accurate description of my dancing. I was throwing some major awe inspiring Joy Division moves on Friday night. I think you were just jealous. Jealous I say.

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Ha ha, thank you for the offer, I'll have to take you up on it after all this crazy assessment. Well I was on a scholarship, until this semester. It only lasted like 4 years! I work (I'll get to that one later) and get Youth Allowance. But I'm so used to having the extra lump sum scholarship money that I'm only just making all my major bills. Don't worry, I'll hit up my parents bank account soon, isn't that what they're for?!. Or I may just start begging on the streets/selling my body (I knew I shouldn't have shaved!).

Oh Resery, I think you're the one that's jealous. You wish you could dance that well. It takes years to develop such a swaggering finesse. I think she may be offering dance classes at a local nursing home.

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The local music scene is pretty cool. But this band wasn't particularly great (ha ha, I'm a harsh critic though), I mean it was tight for a blues/pub rock gig, but it wasn't the experimental indie rock I crave. His band name is something about fish, rupenfish, reubenfish, or something like that. They have a standing gig on a friday night at the Boundo.

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Ooooh...look at you with your sepia photo (I hope that sounded suitably juvenile). Thats in response to your "you WISH you could dance that well". My friend, you've seen nothin till you've seen me on the dance floor. Joy Division, Beastie Boys, Violent Femmes.....i'm down with that shit. Hell yeah. Yup. Uh huh.

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And I happen to enjoy blues and pub rock. They obviously made such an impression on you that night, how can I resist seeing them...

Sepia tone, and an indie-rock music snob? Uh ho... *cough*Hipster*cough*.

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Ha ha, I'm not in denial. I'm a definite music snob. Possibly a hipster. Except that I admire Jason Derulo (how could you not like someone who sings his name as an introduction to his song) and Britney. Pubrock is ok, if you like watching cars go around a track repetitively, Neanderthals chasing after balls despite their brain damage, and gorgeous rats tails on your children. I must admit I don't mind blues, but there's a fine line, a band has to be more blues than pub rock. Go have a look, at least most of their stuff is original. In a different context I might even enjoy it.

With my sepia tone photo and indie tastes I'm only at like level 1 of the hipster ratings. I'm considering becoming vegan, taking up guitar, selling my iMac, worshipping Che and joining the occupy movement as we speak.

Resery, you have redeemed yourself, at least you have good taste in music. Remind me never to go dancing with you though.

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Hmmmm...off to youtube (why the hell do i always want to type utube) jason Derulo.....

Just keeping up with the cool kids.....

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Oh wow, that was truly awful. I feel like i've lost 2 mins of my life listening to that. Although I am fan of autotune singing but only when it involves me talking into songify about the state of the share market. i'll have a number one hit yet.

Now I'm hoping you were being completely ironic and I missed the joke. I missed the joke didnt i. Thats a little embarrassing.....

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Ha ha, I can't wait to hear this share market song (I'm thinking like flight of the conchords style) Don't worry, my parents also think it's utube... :P

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I'm really into The Black Keys at the moment, which I guess you could describe as blues-pub-rock(ish). If you don't know them you should check them out, in particular the album Brothers, and for a starter "Tighten Up" off said album. You too, R. I particularly love that their stuff is so varied, and I've heard you really have to be there and see them live, because they make a lot of the stuff up as they go. So sexy. Do it!

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