I had a random flashback today and remembered a time I really liked this guy who was basically my first realistic crush I'd ever had, seeing as he wasn't a movie star or someone way out of my league, and you know what it's like when you have a first crush (unless you're young and haven't experienced it or live alone in a dark room alone planning world domination) you kind of start imagining the future with them like going on dates, sitting in watching movies, creating a business that specialises in the production and distribution of Hedgehog flavoured snacks-I mean-getting married...yet you can't even get past the first step of showing that you like them in more than just a friend way. I used to talk to him a lot via the internet, but I knew him in person from years ago. I really wanted to meet up with him again, just to have a proper conversation without a keyboard, but I was too shy. He even hinted at it sometimes, but my skin held me back. Eventually I didn't reply to his emails because I was beginning to like him so much that it hurt; it hurt that part of me was really wanting to see him while another was terrified of seeing him. At the time I thought it would be easier to just cut all connections with him.
Although I haven't spoken to him in a year or so now, I actually still think about him and wish I had just carried on talking to him, just to keep that friendship alive. Sometimes I imagine that I will meet him in a bar or something in the near future and we'll fire up our conversations again. I don't even care if the relationship doesn't develop, I just don't want to think that acne took away a special friendship I had with someone along with so many other things it has ruined sigh
Ok, emotional rant over. Sorry .
I am currently wearing Estee Lauder Double Wear Light. Yes, you heard me right, Double Wear LIGHT, and actually it looks pretty good... I'm tempted to say it looks better than the heavy coverage Estee Lauder Double Wear I usually wear (ok, the word 'wear' has finally lost its meaning now.) It has good coverage without looking caked like the high coverage version sometimes does, and it actually matches my skin colour just about perfectly, which is so hard to do seeing as I'm so pale that I'm often mistaken for an urban Yeti suffering from alopecia. The best thing about it though is that it feels so sheer, like I'm not wearing anything; I don't feel all hidden away and suffocated by chemicals.
Going to go now as I have an appointment with something covered, filled or dotted with chocolate.