It's been approximately a month and four days since I made changes to my diet and I'm surprised with how patient I'm being to see long-standing results. I can gently put my hand on one side of my face and it's relatively smooth whereas the other side has some deep bruised spots which had three heads (aaaah! monster stuff~). Which explains why they're bruised and hurt to apply pressure. I mean I definitely applied pressure when attempting to "vanquish" said "monsters" by pulling out pus. I really should just sit back and let my skin take care of what it needs to do (an approach that somehow comes after dietary changes leads me to believe this is more difficult than it sounds).
I've been doing a lot of visualizing lately. Thinking about the problems I'll still have regardless of my skin being clear (in addition to problems I'm just becoming attuned to related to the diet of most Americans, the economic state of America, etc.), about how other people outside of my life probably see my face in time-lapse photography (I just moved to San Francisco in the last couple months so there are lots of new faces to be seen) as opposed to the way I obsess over it's little details and changes (again, trying to let my body do the talking here). I've had this condition for the last 7 years. Out of all my visualizations the hardest one to take seriously is imagining myself being completely clear.
This blog is somewhere I can talk about problems I'm having which are hard for me to bring up otherwise for fear of sounding too self-critical/vain/people don't know how to respond. Although when I finally mentioned to my boyfriend (who I share the same room with) that my skin is the reason all these dietary changes have been taking place (I wasn't sure if I was resentful, grateful, or just dumbfounded that he hadn't asked, assuming he probably knew the reason) there was a lot of relief on both of our parts. Why does it have to be the focal point of my body's largest organ that separates me from others emotionally? Well, I supposed that goes along with the primary function of skin. To differentiate yourself from others. It's where others end and you begin.