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So.

FaceValues

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It's been approximately a month and four days since I made changes to my diet and I'm surprised with how patient I'm being to see long-standing results. I can gently put my hand on one side of my face and it's relatively smooth whereas the other side has some deep bruised spots which had three heads (aaaah! monster stuff~). Which explains why they're bruised and hurt to apply pressure. I mean I definitely applied pressure when attempting to "vanquish" said "monsters" by pulling out pus. I really should just sit back and let my skin take care of what it needs to do (an approach that somehow comes after dietary changes leads me to believe this is more difficult than it sounds).

I've been doing a lot of visualizing lately. Thinking about the problems I'll still have regardless of my skin being clear (in addition to problems I'm just becoming attuned to related to the diet of most Americans, the economic state of America, etc.), about how other people outside of my life probably see my face in time-lapse photography (I just moved to San Francisco in the last couple months so there are lots of new faces to be seen) as opposed to the way I obsess over it's little details and changes (again, trying to let my body do the talking here). I've had this condition for the last 7 years. Out of all my visualizations the hardest one to take seriously is imagining myself being completely clear.

This blog is somewhere I can talk about problems I'm having which are hard for me to bring up otherwise for fear of sounding too self-critical/vain/people don't know how to respond. Although when I finally mentioned to my boyfriend (who I share the same room with) that my skin is the reason all these dietary changes have been taking place (I wasn't sure if I was resentful, grateful, or just dumbfounded that he hadn't asked, assuming he probably knew the reason) there was a lot of relief on both of our parts. Why does it have to be the focal point of my body's largest organ that separates me from others emotionally? Well, I supposed that goes along with the primary function of skin. To differentiate yourself from others. It's where others end and you begin.



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Hey, I hope as well this can be a place where you can share. I haven't told my boyfriend the REAL reason for my diet changes, though I do believe that I'm allergic/sensitive to certain foods. I finally had to tell him not to send me Swiss chocolate (which was very hard! :( ) since I stopped eating chocolat, I stopped having breakouts on my jawline. Go figure.

Ya, it's best to just let the skin be and heal itself. The body's very good at healing itself, and we think our little fingers and squeezing and pulling will do the trick. My skin just scars terribly, so I would rather not touch my face at all then mess with it.

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Thanks for responding. : )

Yeah, it's a harder thing to admit than you would think. In a world of sensory overload ruddy skin definitely makes one feel like a glaring imperfection in the movie of life at times. I'm trying to surround myself with people who make me happy, who I can laugh with as well as be honest around. Also allowing myself things like dark chocolate (you could tell your bf that your tastes have changed if you don't feel like coming clean :P ), a little bit of wheat here and there, etc. and not stressing about my diet too much is helping.

I'm much better than I used to be, I'd give myself "facials" at least twice a day. Now I probably do it once, and think "Okay, only these three particular spots. Nothing else." Of course at least one of them will be buried deeper under more skin and end up staying there for much longer but going out in public with whiteheads scares me. Even the word whiteheads alarms me. Nevermind if I go out without looking at myself, come home and there's one. I kind of shrug and don't care. Maybe I should stop looking in mirrors less (it's happenin') or wear makeup over active spots. I like wearing makeup sometimes, it's a relief to stop caring about my skin (which I'm learning to do as it is). But I feel it holds me to a standard that isn't possible to live up to day-to-day, it's just a lie I can't maintain. And it suffocates my skin. So I save it for special occasions/when I want to cheer myself up.

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Visualization is awesome! It works so much better for me when I'm outside, unplugging helps you out so much in general. This is an older log, but I just wanted to say that we're kinda in the same boat! Total time from nasty cysts to the few rare pimples I have now, it's been a year. Doing things "right" diet wise took about 3-5 months to start seeing results that made me want to cement this lifestyle. I had multi-headed cysts, lots of reasons on my face that made me hate my first semester in college. Though it might paint me a bit shallow, I think our appearance matters to us and to others in that we're looking for the best genes mates blah blah shallow evolution mating theories competition etc. I'm glad for having acne though (glad to be mostly done with it too), since I wouldn't have made diet/lifestyle changes otherwise! Best of luck corgi!

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