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Making The Decision... Accutane Here I Come!

Bladensmom

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I started getting acne at 10 years old. After years of suffering with acne, mostly just on my forehead, i learned that i could try prescription methods to clear up my acne. After about a month or 2 of taking an antibiotic (Doxcycline) and using a couple topicals (Retin A Micro and not positive on the other) my face cleared up. I kept up with the treatment religiously for a year before i started to take it as needed. Finally i was one of those people with nice, clear skin. There is no greater feeling than getting rid of that kind of embarrassment. In fact, it feels so nice to have great skin that you forget what it's like to have bad skin.... until 5 years later your body reminds you.

I was about 20 years old before my face started breaking out again. At first i didn't think much of it because i was going through my first big breakup and had some lifestyle changes. I became a smoker (i used to be a social smoker, only when i drink), getting less sleep and drinking more. But it never went away and has been worse then ever before. My break outs started around my mouth and jaw line and are big, painful cyst that stay forever and usually scar. i started taking antibiotics and face creams again but nothing seems to work. While pregnant with my son, i was limited to what i could take for my face, but surprisingly my face was clearer while pregnant then it is now. I thought it was due to me quiting smoking and that my acne issues were over.... wishful thinking. About 4-5 months ago i started breaking out on my back and chest. This happened so rapidly and it has scarred my skin worse then the years of acne on my face has done. It doesn't make much sense. I get these huge sores in my scalp that stay forever and hurt really bad. I pick at my face and body all day long. Sometimes i get so aggravated with myself for picking at them, that i literally have to go work out or find something else to do so that i will leave them alone.

I've tried Doxycycline, Ampicillen, Bactrim, Retin A Micro, Duac, Differin, benzo peroxide, i tried the all natural way with taking anti fungals and vitamins.... NOTHING has worked. I'm tired of spending my hard earned money on prescriptions that don't work and for co pays that thus far have gotten me no where. And i'm so tired of feeling this way about myself. It's gotten so bad that i seriously turn off all the lights before i wash my face at night. I don't want to look at myself and i sure don't want my partner to look at it. i'm tired of piling on all the make up and avoiding certain situations because of my face. I work full time, go to school part time and have a 14 month old... my life doesn't leave much room for down time. That's why i'm scared to death of all the side effects of accutane, the tiredness, headaches, and so on. But i know that if i can push through a few tough months, this may be just what my body needs. No more appointments, no more prescriptions, and no more acne..... Wish me luck :)



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