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Horrified

xxxxadictsxxxx

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I've gotten to the point where i no longer go out for anything besides school. About 8 months ago I think it was around January I broke out severely around my cheeks in acne. Now I've never had acne in my life beside probably a couple zits occasionally. I got through my entire life without having acne and it wasn't until my sophomore year in college that this happened. It started off as 2 maybe 3 painful zits on my face and so I being ignorant of not knowing how to deal with acne attempted to scrub them off. In return this turned into a full outbreak on my cheek.I didn't really pay attention to it because acne had never bothered me when i did have it. Fast forward a couple months and my cheeks were covered. I don't even know how it spread but it got to the point i would cry everytime I looked into the mirror. My friends would call me but I wouldn't answer because I was way to embarassed to go out. I spent 6 months in my house not wanting to leave. My family was probably the worse thing that could have happened to me during this point because the only thing they had to say was i wasn't washing my face or how disgusting it looked. I felt so bad because it was completely out of my control. I was even considering dropping out of school because it was getting to the point where it was painful to put on make up. And the way people stared ... it was just that bad. I was devastated because I didn't understand why me an adult was getting acne. I discovered this website which honestly was probably the most helpful thing ever reading over other peoples reviews and experiences i have to say was pretty comforting to know i wasn't the only dealing with this. Finally i went to my doctor and it was so bad he thought it was roscea . My cheeks were extremely red and infected with acne. I was immediatly set up with a derm and put on accutane. I was so sad because of this experience. I use to laugh when I thought of acne and the "affects" but the emotional affects i have to say were far more damaging than the physical. I hated my face i couldn't look in the mirror. The weird part about all this is I honestly feel now that I'm a better person. I had to get over the way i looked and just focus on myself emotionally. Three months later and I'm acne free :). I don't if it was the summer that i took off from school to stay home and relax and just try to reconnect with myself as a person away from stress life and friends but like that it just went away. I stopped paying attention to the way I looked and spent more time with my family. I still haven't seen the friends that i stopped talking to since then but I'm doing a lot better in school haha. I'm not going to lie I've become completely school absorbed because it was the only thing that kept me from thinking about wanting to off myself because of the way I looked. At the time i was reading Frankenstein which was pretty inspiring also. i have scars now from me not knowing how to deal with the acne but I think i'm past the point of worrying about what i look like. I think i'm happier now than i've been in a long time probably happier than even before the acne. You know what they say tomorrows another day things can always get better



1 Comment


Wow this is inspiring! haha i ama junior in hs and i've always had moderate acne, but ever since the beginning of this school year the same things happened to me! my cheeks were COVERED in red huge pimples and it was so embarassing. I was so upset and finally my mom took me to the derm and I've been on aczone and ziana with a pill for the past week and my face is showing improvement :) I'm just so happy you didn't drop out of school and learned what the more important things in life are. be careful with the accuctane, though, i hear it has crazy side affects! good luck! :)

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