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42 Days! - I Conquered My Needle Fear

Renn17

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Haven't updated in a while because I'm either too busy doing work or too busy sleeping inbetween doing work. I think it's because I've been dreaming a lot lately, and when I wake up after a night of dreaming I feel exhausted. I had a dream a few days ago where I was dying for the loo, but the one cubicle free was really dirty, like decorated with puddles of wee-wee, greasy hair, blood, flies...just things that would make you wanna be sick. I was desperate and walked in, but tripped over on myself and fell so my head was lodged between the loo and the cubicle wall (where a certain bin would usually be) I began to get fatter and fatter, and by the time I freed myself and looked in the bathroom mirror I was a morbidly obese Italian man!

Cried myself to sleep on Monday because I was dreading having bloods taken the next day :boohoo: I was the first in the Dermatology waiting area, yet still had to sit around for 15 minutes while the nurses turned on lights and set up. Looked like they were going in slo-mo at some points, then I just realised they were actually just very slow nurses. Eventually I was seen and she used a butterly needle, knowing I have a phobia. I tried thinking of a song and somehow ended up subconsciously belting 'I like big butts and I cannot lie!" in my head. Sounds stupid but it worked because I didn't cry, didn't scream and didn't soil myself...quite pleased with myself! :P Just need my results to be ok now, which I'll find out a week on Tuesday. Fingers crossed my blood lipids aren't really high!

My skin is pretty good but I'm not seeing major improvements, simply because I have no spots to observe, just flattish red marks. If I push my bottom lip out with my tongue I can see huge white lumps which are hard to the touch. If this is a spot it's strange because usually it would be painful but it is numb...maybe it's just dry skin underneath? I have no idea, but I'm just happy I'm not covered is pus-filled cysts. :D

My foundation seems to sink into my skin and makes my skin look very pore-ish. I used to have poreless skin but they seem to be huge now. I wonder if it's because of the accutane? Will they shrink after I've stopped my treatment? Still, it's much better than having tons of spots.

I'll upload a picture of my skin soon, but for some reason I can't read comments on them even though I get the notification for it :/



2 Comments


Glad to hear you made it through the phobia! :)

I know what you mean about the photo comments - they used to appear underneath the picture but since the format of the board changed, they're not there. There are certain screens where they appear on the right of the screen. I know I have comments on my images because I've read and responded to them before, and I know they're still there, but can't see them. Strange.

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Thanks, I still can't believe how well it went! :D

I can see one of the comments but I can't see any of the others. The most recent appears on the right but not on the actual picture so I'm reluctant to reply. Hopefully it'll be sorted soon...thanks for reading :)

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