Hi everyone, i'm a 16 year old girl. l've been fighting this battle for going on 5 years.
The reason i'm starting this blog is because i've spent hours and hours reading people's stories, and watching Youtube videos. l hope my story will help someone else.
SOME HISTORY: My mom never had a problem with her skin. My dad on the other hand had severe cystic acne on his nose, jaw line, arms, chest, and back. ( He still gets huge cysts sometimes from stress.. )
WHEN IT STARTED: l started getting acne right before highschool ( perfect timing right ). l remember the first day of grade nine l had 2 big red cysts on my right cheak, just for year book pictures, awesome right...
lt started as a pimple here and there, then a cyst here and there. And only went down hill from there. l've always had Moderate Acne, or thankfully here and there only Mild
MY STORY: When l started getting acne, l was clueless. l didn't have internet back then so l couldn't do research, none of my friends had acne so there was so help there.
At first l started wearing coverup, then l bought some sort of Clean and Clear Acne wash.
l was so self-concious that back then l would wash my face like every hour. lf anyone, or anything ever touched my face, i'd immediatly run upstaires and wash my face. l didn't know l was doing more damage then good.
My face became very bunrt and dry very fast. lt was oily as hell because l washed it so much. But because it was so try, l figured l should use vasaline to give my face some moisture.
So that's what l did, at this pont l had Moderate acne, burnt, red, dry, oily, and greesy skin.
NOT a pretty sight.
l was sooooo embarrased and ashamed that l would not leave my house without a FULL face of makeup, not even just standing in my doorstep, or to go to the store.
l'd wake up in the morning and spend over an hour doing my makeup, then i'd look at myself and think " ew ", i'd either wash my makeup off, and re-do it completely, or i'd wash my face, go back to bed and miss school.
ln grade 9 l missed a total of 2 months of school. Just because l didn't want anyone to see me, or to judge me, the way l judged me..
When l did go to school between every class i'd go to the bathroom and put more powder on my face.
There were so many times when i'd be sitting in class and l would have to go to the bacthroom, so i'd ask the teacher if l could go, i'd go to the bathroom, then when i'd be washing my hands i'd look in the mirror and feel hopeless. l'd fight the tears and l would sit in a bathroom stall where no one could see me and wash off all my face makeup ( with hand soap... ) and do it all over again, and then go to class 15 - 20 mins later.
l would stand in the mirror and tell myself l was ugly. Every. Single. Day.
When l would go to my dad's house i'd wake up before everyone else ( my dad and big brother ) and put all my makeup on so that even they wouldn't see my face.
l had alot of other problems going on in my life at this time too, so that was the hardest and most depressing time of my life.
Then came Proactive, when l got it my mom bought it from the mall by my place ( $100 for the package ).
l stopped washing my face so much cause of how much it costed, l washed it 3 times a day then.
Before school; After School ( to wash off all my makeup ); and before Bed.
ln the Proactive package l got the refining mask. lf l was at home, l ALWAYS had this on my face. 24/7, literally, either as a spot treatment, or all over my face. So my skin was still so burnt.
l stopped hanging out with my friends, completely isolated myself. l'd make excusses as to why l could never hangout. lf my mom had company she HAD to call me and tell me so l could go in my room and no one would see me.
After this, l still use proactive, tho it doesn't work as well anymore..
last year, ( grade 11 ) my skin cleared up dramaticly, l started only wearing concealer on my blemishes, and powder, then only powder, then nothing at all. You can see how BIG of a deal that was, l came soo far, l won this war.
Then this past summer 2011, one cyst here, one cyst there. One after another, as soon as one goes, another comes. EVERYTHING has been leaving marks, touched or not. l take great care of my skin now, moisturize and everything.
l spent $100 on micodermabasion for the marks - made my skin soft but did nothing else.
Spent $150 on Red light Treatments - helped but l keep breaking out, so it's undoing everything.
l missed school yesterday, today, tomorrow l have an ortho appt ( oh yeah, l got braces this sumer too... ) and monday l have an appt at my derm's, i'm starting Accutane, l already got the blood work done.
l'm gonna go buy some Face makeup tomorrow ( non-comedogenic + acedogenic ) so l can work this weeked without wanted to call in sick..
l have 2 jobs, i'm in my last year of high-school, and i'm so tired. This is never-ending.
l KNOW how beautiful l could be, but without acne.. lf l didn't have to deal with this i'd feel amazing.
lt's had such a huge effect on soo many parts of my life, l just want it to be in my past, only my past.
l'll keep everyone posted on how accutane goes for me.
l hope this helped someone, or made them feel like they aren't so alone, cause you're not.
lf ANYONE has any question or comments feel free to msg me or comment and i'll make sure to get back to you.
Much love, goodluck everyone, xox <3