I just want to take some time to talk about how acne has impacted my life.
feeling like you want to curl up in bed and not face the world
feeling like nobody will take you seriously because of your acne
feeling jealous of those who have 'good skin'
feeling obsessed with finding a 'cure'
those are all things I have (and still do) struggle with! I'm not even a little bit vain. I've always been the type of girl to "go natural". My dad ingrained in me that makeup was for "ugly girls who have something to hide." So I've never worn makeup. And now I find myself feeling like I have no other option. My face is just that bad. It's disheartening, to say the least! And little things- like meeting my husband's friends and colleagues, has become the most emotionally daunting task. I hate meeting new people because of my acne. I worry that my pimples are all they see. That they'll wonder why my husband is with me. (Because I feel ugly.) And, professionally, acne has taken its toll on me as well. I'm lucky enough that I nanny for a three month old and a nineteen month old. They don't care at all how messed up my face looks! It's awesome. But now I'm considering other career options. I've been volunteering at a local school as a literacy enrichment coordinator.... and I worry that, sans makeup and with a full face of acne, I won't be taken seriously enough by other professionals. I look fifteen. (sidenote: I actually looked better at fifteen because my face was clear back then.)
I won't lie. Acne has made me a little depressed. It's lowered my self esteem a bit. I think of it way too often while making plans to hang out with friends or go into the office. ("my face is too ugly today. I can't possibly go anywhere in public!")
So, there's this huge psychological/emotional impact that acne brings to the table. It's not just physical. I think that's why so many of us are eager to be rid of it! It takes its toll.
I'm ready for clear(er) skin. I work hard for my overall health, and I'd like my face to reflect that.... so, yeah.
As I said before, I'm changing my regimen a bit. It's really simple right now. (Dr. Bronner in peppermint for morning/evening face wash. I wash with warm water and rinse with cool water to help close my pores. Neutrogena Oil Free for moisturizer, morning/evening. 10% benzoyl peroxide. I'm pretty generous with it in the evening before bed. In the morning, I just spot treat so I don't dry my face out.) But the combination is not working.
I'm switching to morning/evening wash with raw organic honey + warm water- TTO applied with q-tip for topical, and perhaps an Avalon Organics face lotion for moisture. Simple. Natural. Hopefully something my face will like I'm continuing on with my vegan, GF diet, exercising, and taking my raw vegan multivitamin, plus adding in a vegan algae-based DHA supplement. I've always been really good about drinking at least eight cups of water a day, so I'll continue that as well as getting enough shut eye each night. That's it! I'm hoping to have some good results to show you guys. I'll be posting another current photo to the gallery today so you can see just how inflamed my skin actually is. Oh! And for the first time ever (besides my wedding day, where I wore Clinique makeup) I'm trying out foundation! Pretty sure I'm going with cheapo Naturelux, and I realllyyy hope it doesn't break me out. But I have an interview today, and I feel like I absolutely can't go to it without covering up.
Have a great weekend!