Sorry I didn't write a blog yesterday-didn't have much to say really, and I was shattered and could only muster the strength to watch Baby's Day Out (in which I "aww'd" and "schmoochy-woochy-woo'd" consistently through; it's one cute baby!)
Moving on...I'm not seeing a massive change in my skin at the minute. That one huge, painful spot on the left side of my face is doing the opposite to what I expected. I thought it would get even bigger until it got a head, but it seems to be getting sucked closer to my skin and is definitely not pop-able. It's like my body is killing it off, which sounds more epic than 'I squeezed it" and leaves room for the imagination to run wild-no need to thank me for giving you that opportunity .
I have this excited feeling like you do waiting for Christmas (which is in 83 days. Looked that up. Didn't know it off the top of my head...) I can't wait to have nice skin again and stop feeling so unattractive and start having more confidence in myself. The Derm did say to me that clearer skin won't make me more confident by itself and I have to make more of an effort to go out more, but I basically don't believe her. I know for a fact as soon as my skin behaves itself I'll be out that door 24/7. I've already been out way more than usual, and my skin has only improved a bit.
One thing I am really nervous about is meeting guys, which sounds pathetic but I've went to an all girls school for 7 years from age 11 up to the end of this year where I'll be 18. I hit puberty within those years, which generously gave me a gift basket of anxiety, self-loathe, sweaty palms and embarrassing things to say to attractive people when they speak to you. In this time I've almost always had a bit acne which increased in severity through time, meaning I haven't had the confidence to go to clubs out of school time etc in which to even chat with the opposite sex because I've felt so ugly. When I get clear skin and go out more, I dread to think of the humiliating things I'll do when put on the spot in front of a nice guy hopefully I'll naturally grow out of this nervousness. Or become a nun.