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And So It Is ...



I'm female - 29 - and prior to July 19th, 2011 my skin was clear.

I had mild/moderate acne when I was younger. Age 12-22. I tried everything - and nothing worked until so much time passed - the acne cleared itself. Since then I've had the occasional minor breakout - just a zit here and there.

And then came July.

First my face was dry and rashy around my nose.

Then add in tiny bumps, then tiny whiteheads and blackheads.

Then lots and lots of oil and typical zits (I looked liked a teenager going through puberty).

Then came the first cyst-like zit on my chin.

Then came more zits around my nose and upper lip.

Then came more cysts on my chin.

Then an explosion of cysts/large whiteheads on my chin.

Now I have it all - blackheads, cysts, large whiteheads, regular zits.

It's mostly concentrated on either side of my chin and on my jawline with cysts/large whiteheads - with small whiteheads and red bumps on my forehead and cheeks. A tiny bit on my back.

I did all the wrong things. I bought product after product - tried to dry it out - tried to over moisturize.

Tried. Tried. Tried.

My period was out of whack in July.

A little more on track in August.

On a 28 day cycle now - period for September should start tomorrow.

I went to the dermatologist two days ago.

She said she wasn't trying to be mean - but that it was bad.

I was prescribed the following:

Prascion Sodium Sulfacetamide 10%, Sulfer 5% - Cleanser (once a day)

Cephalexon (Generic for Keflex) 500mg once a day

Differine (Adapalene) 0.1% creme - PM

Aczone (Dapsone) 5% gel - AM

Hormone testing - 5 types (results should be in tomorrow).

DAY 1 - I washed with the sulfur cleanser and applied the Differine. Drank lots of water. My skin seemed better.

DAY 2 (today) - I washed with Neutrogena cleanser - applied the Aczone.

My skin really did seem better - until around 7pm this evening when I noticed it felt oily.

Mirror check - looked way worse! Zits all over. More on my forehead than ever. More cysts on my chin.

I took a hair/skin/nail vitamin around 6:30 with my antibiotic.

Maybe that had something to do with the sudden change.

I try so hard not to pop my zits - but I caved in and popped a few - picked at others.

Washed with sulfur cleanser and applied differine.

Still feels oily.

I am trying to stay positive.

I've been super emotional - hiding out - embarrassed - depressed.

The acne could be stress related.

I lost my grandma in June.

Found out my uncle had cancer - and then found out he died on July 16th (acne started July 19th)

Was away for the summer for a job.

Had a long distance relationship.

I've been world traveling for about 7 years. Decided to put down roots.

My world has been a bit shaken I guess.

My skin has always been super sensitive. It's fair - freckles.

So my treatment is going to be mild and slow.

Just when I think it's getting better - it gets worse.

I've come to the realization that it's ok to feel this through.

Meaning - regardless of how vain the suffering - I am suffering.

It could be worse - my whole life could be worse - I know, I know.

But I can only be me - and my feelings are valid - because this is what's happening to me.

Comparison is useless.

I'm not taking my eyes off the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am going to fight this.

I refuse to live with acne.

This blog is part of my healing process.

Well wishes to all of you on this road.

None of us are alone.


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