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Day 39



Okiley dokily, so I'm on day 39 and not really sure why I'm blogging, as I haven't got a whole lot to report! Had my hair done today and a lovely back massage, which made me feel a little better in some ways but all the girls in the salon were planning a girly night as a new club has opened in town (which I was invited to but will not go out at the moment looking like this!!), and they all had lovely skin so it made me feel a little sad. Once I wouldn't have even given it a second thought, but now I feel like so ugly and am worried people will be staring at my ten heads. Also, why is salon lighting to bloody bright - I looked hideous in there and pretended I was really engrossed in a two month old magazine!!

Re my skin, its still the same as before - these mahusive spots don't show any signs of disappearing, they seem to be lasting forever. But on the plus side I haven't had any more of those sort come up in the last five days. No, instead I have a few on the left side of my nose that have cropped up (just average big ones like everyone gets) and a group of four on the left side of my hair line. What's all that about - its like they're scared to come on their own!! I never get them on my hair line, so I'm assuming its the Roaccutane. Even when these big ones do heal (i.e. I have picked the scab off and they are not leaking anymore!), the lumps seem to last forever - I have four on my chin that are still big and have been there over a month. My chin looks seriously gross, it makes me said when I put my slap on.

My back has been a little sore these last few days and I'm noticing my skin is getting a bit dryer, so hopefully that's a good sign. I'm also pretty tired of late too.

God I just can't wait for this all to be over and have no lumps and bumps (with makeup on), it feels like it has taken over my life and I will never be how I was again.

How bad was I, the other day I was checking out bloggers who have had negative experiences of Roaccutane/how it didn't work for them/them needing multiple rounds of it. Totally depressed myself! But then I read from someone that millions of people take it, and for the majority it works but they don't feel the need to write about it, so that gave me a little hope in the misery I find myself in at the moment!!

Day 39 - wish it was 99 (it bloody feels like it should be!). Hopefully one day I will look back at these early days and think 'crikey, I remember being like that but now I'm gorgeous it feels like a distant memory'!!! :)


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