Day 26 - what a long road this is turning out to be, and I'm not even a quarter of a way through yet! My face looks absolutely disgusting without make-up on, I can't quite believe how many red marks and spots there are. I feel like a frickin freak show, and its really getting me down . Thank God I have discovered Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation - anybody struggling to hide blemishes/imperfections/scars/red marks, get yourself a tube. At Â£26.00 a pot its espensive, but it is by far the best foundation I have ever found, and can even cover up tatoos (so the bird in the shop told me!). You only need a tiny bit and it covers all red marks and scars, its totally amazing.
Anyhow, back to the face. Its well bad - so bad its making me really down. I don't know whether its these drugs but my mood is so low at the moment. To be honest I'm putting it down to the fact that my face looks like such a mess. I don't just get one spot on its own, oh no they come in clusters - so far I have a group of friends on my the left side of my hairline (about five big ones), a group of three on my forehead, a group of five on my left nostril - they are well scabby, a mahusive one on my left cheek, one on the end of my nose (que Rudolph tune!) and about five on my chin which WILL NOT go away (this includes the lighthouse). Sorry to be so detailed but I feel the need to vent!! And what's with the scabs once you've squeezed them? How gross.
So anyways, I went to the laser place yesterday and was told that they couldn't touch me for another 11 months, until after I'd finished treatment and been off these lovely drugs for six months. They were really nice and didn't do the hard sell, but said I would possibly need a few chemical peels, some dermabrasion to even out my skinton and some laser red light therapy to get rid of the red marks. That should all total just over Â£1,000.00 - yer nice one!!!! Oh and after all that I still won't have perfect skin, just improved. Hopefully by the 11 months is up my face will look completely different, as that's a lot of healing time, but in the meantime I'm gonna start saving, just in case I need any treatments. It was very interesting though and I learnt a lot about skin. I was also advised to cut down on my smoking (yes I know, I'm a naughty girl). So before I smoked about 8 a day, but I was advised to cut down to 2, which I have started today. Its killing me already but I'm determined I'm going to do it, and eventually stop altogether. I'm allowing myself one in the morning and one at night, and this evening can't come soon enough!
Regarding the Estee Lauder Idealist Skincare Illuminator, it is very good and instantly brightens up red marks, however I'm not sure if its this that is making me break out so much so I'm holding off judgement just yet. It could be the Roaccutane though, as I'm still only just coming out of month one. Bloody spots, I hate them, and I hate the destruction in the form of red marks and dints that they leave behind.
That's it for me today, think I have moaned enough!!! Bye for now folks