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Day 1



So, I am a 30 year old female who has suffered with acne since I was 12. I have tried everything under the sun to clear it up........creams, antibiotics, birth control...over and over and over again....of course, without any luck. I have had enough. I am sick of the control that this acne has over me. I am ready to beat this and show acne that it will not get me down anymore! I am ready to fight! I am ready to wear tank tops showing off my perfect skin. I am ready to wake up in the morning and be happy to see what is looking back at me in the mirror. I am ready to get up in the morning and not have to slather layers and layers of makeup on my face to just walk to the mailbox. I am ready. But, I am terrified. Accutane scares the crap out of me. I am an anxious person already and the thought of putting this so called "poison" into my body every day for 6 months makes me crazy. I have done research upon research on it. I have found sooooo many great success stories, but the moment that I find one bad story, I forget about the good and focus soley on what bad things could happen to me. I think that is why it has taken so long for me to get on it. I had to talk myself up just to make the appointment with my derm. I was so pumped just to find out that I had to wait another month (two negative pregnancy tests) until I could even start the pills.....that of course opened the door for hesitation and negative thoughts and worries...well here it is, a month later...and it's time. I have stocked up on all the supplies I believe that I will need throughout my journey...aquaphor, cetaphil, head and shoulders, saline nose spray, and eye drops. Im pumped, but soooo nervous at the same time.

I am a small girl, about 100lbs. My derm put me on 20mg of Amnestemm once a day. She said after the first month that she would put me on 40mg and that would be for the dose for the rest of the treatment. She wants to do 6 months at a lower dose because she said there is lesser side effects. I hope that is a good thing.

I took the first pill out of the package and stared at it for about 10 mins. I don't know why it was so hard to just pop it in my mouth, but it was. I guess just a lot went through my mind. It is so crazy how one tiny pill can make me have so many feelings all at once. I wonder if anyone else feels the same way as I do. Finally, just like jumping into the pool when the water is cold, I swallowed it down with a big ol glass of milk. Then I just thought, come on Accutane, do your thing:)

So now, I wait and hope and pray for the best. I am glad that there is a site where I can share my experience and also be able to read other peoples blogs about their journey. It is good to know that there are other people going through what I am. I hope to share advice and experience with lots of people. Support is what we need to get throught this..and we will!!


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