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Bink's Blog

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Fed up, going to the derm.:(

Binkster

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So the reason why my acne is so bad right now is because about a month ago I tried using the ACV toner and it completely broke me out and I know it wasn't purging because I was breaking out in places I had never broken out before. I was using the OCM at the time by the way. After that I kept on forgetting my cleansers inbetween switching from my mom and dads houses(their divorced). So that also contributed to it. I was really having the hardest time to get back to somewhat under control like it was before I made that mistake, but I just couldn't. I gave up on it all and started using raw honey to wash my face. I did the 3 day apple fast and started eating mostly raw. I drank TONS of water everyday. I added supplements to my regimen. I was doing all of these things to try too improve my health and clear my skin and I just can't keep doing this. It's not that it's hard I'm just not getting results and I told myself if I get one more pimple(it would be my 6th pimple since I started going holistically) that I was going to go to the dermatologist. Sure enough I came home from the first day of school with 2 pimples on my chin. I was in the car and I looked in the mirror and my cheeks were covered with dark red, some brown, scars. I had big red pimples. My forehead looked bumpy and oily with whiteheads all over. I thought about school and everybody's skin. There were other kids with skin problem. Some came with a few pimples, but nobody in my grade had skin as bad as mine. The severity of their acne is what I had in 7th grade. It really sucks too to think about how hard I've tried for my skin and it really just hurts me to be so desperate to go to a dermatologist because I promised myself that I wouldn't because I believed I could cure my skin and prove my dad wrong. My dad wants me to try Proactiv and go to the dermatologist and I always fought him because I know that Proactiv just has a good marketing team and dermatologists just want money. I wanted to do it the healthy and holistic way and it just really hurts me to fail. Those were my morals. I am against putting chemicals on and in my body but I just can't deal with anymore of this. I'm a 15 year old girl and it really to feel like everybody notices how bad your skin is and to look around at all these beautiful girls with beautiful skin or people who once had acne but don't have it anymore. I'm disappointed in myself and its really the first time that i've ever felt so bad about my skin that I just don't care anymore. If this was a few months ago I would of said okay ill go to the derm but I would still continue with my routine. I don't even care about natural, so I'm just going to start washing my face with CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser until my appointment and we'll see what happens. I will probably still exfoliate and do masks but from now until my appointment I'm just going to try to completely ignore the fact that I even have skin on my face.



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