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Day 87 - Almost Done 1st Course!




I haven't been here in a while and I do not have too too much to report on, even though I should be updating more.

Anyway, I saw my dermatologist a couple weeks ago for a check up on my monthly blood test results. Everything turned out fine as usual, and we discussed doing another course. He wrote me a prescription for 2 months more of Accutane (which I don't understand because isn't 1 course supposed to be 3 months?) I will ask him this in a month when I go back. Communication with him this time around was poor, he forgot to write me a prescription for my birth control, so before I left I had to chase him down in the hallway explaining to him that I was running out of that too. I know it's just birth control, but the whole situation made me feel like such a crackhead, "please doctor, I need more of this!", especially in a hallway and not behind closed doors. It was just really unprofessional and disorganized this time around. Not to mention it's always a minimum half hour wait before I see him for not even a solid 10 minutes. I hope it was just a bad day for him and that next month's appointment goes better.

So yes, I just have a few more days until my first course of Accutane is done. I have been represcribed the 40mg/daily again, however a part of me wishes it were 60 or 80mg. The derm calculated stuff out based on my weight, so I think 40 is what my body can safely handle.

I have seen lots of improvement with my skin. Sometimes I will have a day here and there where I will get really discouraged. Especially recently as I've noticed some androgenic acne popping up WTF!!! This is the type of breakouts around your chin and mouth. I've gotten them near my mouth, and then one right below my nostril which is just nasty. I've noticed that these kinds of breakouts haven't surfaced until I started using the steam room at the gym again, so that *might* have something to do with it. I'll keep going and see. I don't know why the steam room would be bad (the derm even said it was), because I hop in the shower immediately after I get out and wash my face so all the sweat is washed off.

Despite the hang ups and minor breakouts on my skin I am overall very happy with my treatment this far. ESPECIALLY when I look at old pictures of myself, these are pictures I take every week to 2 weeks and compare them. Needless to say, I know my skin isn't perfect yet, but it is at a much better stage than when I first started. In fact, when I look at the day I took a picture of myself the first day on Accutane, I really can't believe I used to go out in public like that. I'm embarassed, relieved, happy and sad all at the same time.

I am hoping that the next course of Accutane will be the part that really shuts the acne down for good. I can't wait to be done so I can start lasers. My projected time finishing Accutane will be at the end of October. It's funny how my perception on the state of my skin changes as it improves. First it started off as, "imagine how my face will look clear without the pimples" to now "now that it's clear, imagine what it will look like without the scars". I hope that the lasers give me that final touch I am looking for to have flawless skin.

I thought that was it, but then I realized I recently made some big changes in my diet. I have recently decided to become vegan which means no eating animals or animal by-products. No meat, no dairy, no eggs, no fish, no honey. You get the drift.

I am enjoying this very much because I want to 'live lighter' and I know it's good for my health, the environment, and of course animals. This was on my mind for a bit but I'm happy that I've made the transition. There is still some milk products in my fridge like margarine and soup, so I'm finishing up food like that which I already have, but I am buying everything vegan from now on. I am really happy with my decision, and I have started to lose weight thanks to going to the gym and not eating so heavy. There is still meat in my fridge like chicken strips, meatballs and fish sticks, but I'll cook those for my bf when he comes around. I don't foresee myself eating meat again, I really don't want to. Not that I was a heavy carnivore to begin with. I just did some research on this, and the diet shouldn't affect my treatment. Although this might be wise to bring up to my derm next month. Also, I haven't made the 'full' transition yet as I still have non-vegan items I'm finishing up before fully taking the leap.

I have noticed my mood is off. This could also be due to the birth control pills. I get very dark and sad thoughts sometimes, anything random triggers it and it gets so bad that I either can't sleep or have to call my boyfriend who provides amazing mental support. He reminds me at these times that it's just medication not me who is really thinking bad things, but the problem is that those feelings feel so real. I am glad I have him for support, and it feels weird writing about this on my blog but I do want to track it. Obviously I'm not going to share this with my derm because I'd rather not share info which might stop my treatment. In other words, I'm handling my mood changes in a responsible way, however I have noticed my mood change very much since starting. I'm keeping tabs on this.

Another thing is just my hips hurt all the time. There are days I walk A LOT and my hips will start to hurt, luckily the sciatic nerve pain stopped for me. No matter what position I sleep in, or how long I sleep, the pain in my hip frame seems to be there. Sometimes I don't walk for long, and it feels like I can't walk no more. As such, I only go to places that are necessary like work and the grocery store, but to go stroll around a mall or park is out of the question!

I think that's everything, I'm super tired and am having trouble falling asleep so I'm going to keep trying.

I will organize and post pictures to anyone who would like to see.



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