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day 0

bee hives


it is sunday, june 10th. my skin is worse than it has ever been, so i can't wait for my BP and AHA to arrive in the mail on monday.

this will be my second round of the regimen. i followed it to a 't' when i first started in summer of 2008, but this time i will be doing a slightly modified version - one that was working quite well for me over the winter:

- cleansing with coconut / camellia oil

- BP

- cerave moisturizer

i had been using burt's bees positively radiant day creme (along with two different burt's bees cleaners), but i was just trying to use it up. it was okay, but certainly not anything special. i purchased the cerave today and have been enjoying it on my face and dry feet.

i also ordered dan's AHA, but i don't think i'll be putting this on until i get rid of the active acne on my face. i'm just not sure how it will react and i'm using the AHA for scar relief anyway. i may be adding some emu oil into my moisturizer later on down the road also, but i won't try this until my routine and skin are both very stable.

i feel like i use so many products. too many. i am currently cleansing with dr. bronner's (this is not helping me - too harsh), and for a week up until two days ago i was using witch hazel as a toner. this is something that worked for me in the past, but this time my skin flipped out. many other factors could be to blame - sunscreen, self tanner, stress, poor diet, getting off the regimen - but i think it would be best to just use the three products i have set out for my regimen before i start adding anything else. kind of a "back to square one" deal. scrubs, masks, toners, or any extra steps will have to wait for now. eventually i just want to get to a point where my skin is clear and i'm not using 54396436 products.

i really wish i could just be on a natural regimen that's good for my skin. i know bp is bad for it, i know about all the terrible chemicals inside my new moisturizer, but i kind of have to throw in the towel at this point, because anything is better than having this face full of acne. my self estem is suffering somethin' fierce. later on down the line, after i have a clear complexion and a stable health situation, i definitely want to ween off the BP bit by bit, and maybe switch to natural moisturizers before that. there was a point where i was using just coconut oil evening and night. my skin wasn't perfect, but it felt nice to just keep it simple and to nourish my skin instead of strip it, burn it, or slather it with chemicals.

back to clear in three weeks? here's to hopin'.


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