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Exactly One Week



No obvious side effects to date. Although, my skin has more acne. Two on the apple of my right cheek bone. Three down my left. And a few on my chin. Nothing too horrible. I'm hoping I see these clear by Friday the 1st. However, I have read that many people saw the 2wk mark was when their skin peaked at it's worst - But I'm thinking my skins doing that right now. I hope, any way. I'm yet to really see a clearance, it's just stayed the same, or gotten worse. I can't say I'm too bothered though.

What I want the most

I'm insecure. I'm shy. I assume I'm always judged by my appearance. I rely a lot on how I look, to have a good day.

I want to to feel confident. I want to be able to sleep over at someones house, and stay for breakfast without worrying about my skin. I want to be able to put my face under the water at the beach. I want to be able to scoot down the shops without make-up on. I want to not worry about the lighting, about how close someone is standing to my face, I want not too worry about how my skin looks ALL the time. I want to not hide beneath my hair. I want to not have to wear so much make-up. I want someone to be able to touch my face, without me pushing their hand away. I don't want a boyfriend, because I don't believe I can be pretty enough for him all the time, because my skin is so unpredictable. I only go out when I have to, because I feel that applying make-up makes it worse - and I won't go anywhere without it. I miss opportunities. I want to feel beautiful.

I believe it'll change my life, and I am so excited.

1 Comment

Hi, I just joined the community today. I was reading part of your blog, and I want to wish you tons of strength and a good attitude while you're on Accutane. My cousin used it because she was struggling with acne since she was 12, and she used it for 6 months last summer, and even though she was a bit moody and sortive distant, she is now extremely happy and she is using Ambii cream (which you can buy at Walgreens/CVS) for about $6, and its a beige colored tube of cream you apply on your scar spots at night. I know the side effects will be painful, but it will help your skin a lot, and try to keep a good attitude..And one more tip, you are your own worst critic, meaning that you are going to judge your skin harshly, but in reality, most people just want to be around people that make them happy and feel good. Good skin or Bad skin--it truthfully comes down to your personality when making friends. I hope you decide to go out more, and have fun. You're young, and if you are worried about the lighting (which I always was, I can completely relate to all your comments about "dim lighting" "not wanting to sleep over" and the "distance between you and someone else talking") then go out dancing at a night club or something with friends..and lights are dim! Btw, one more tip, exercise!! When you sweat, especially through your face, you add circulation and get rid of toxins. I know on accutane you can't do strenuous physical activity, but I recommend, jogging or walking for a long distance, or even doing yoga or pilates. Recommended yogas: Vinyasa, or Bikram (Hot Yoga).Again, good luck! And writing down how you feel in a journal helps with overcoming any struggles while on the medication.

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