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My Very First Blog Entry Ever...Here We Go

justloverly(:

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Hello there, acne.org! Welcome to my blog page!

I've never had a blog before, but I'll do my best to make this interesting. First, let my introduce myself. My name is Brynn and I've been struggling with acne for about four years now...and even though it doesn't seem that long, it's felt like hell. Some of you here know the drill: the bitter self consciousness, the face imprisoned in make-up, the years of experimenting with every advertised product known to man...you know, your every day acne side effects. The side effects of hell.

In the early stages, I was in denial. I thought (prayed, rather) that it was just a phase, just an ufortuante array of zits continuing throughout my face that would entually fade away. One day I was particually distressed by it, and apparently it was showing in my face (ha, ha) because a friend as me what was wrong. I told her I just wasn't feeling so confident, and she asked, "Is it because of the acne?". I was taken aback, because I'd never really seen it as "acne" before. I'm pretty sure my reply wasn't too kind, seeing as my memory only remembers the anger and surprise of that moment.

Sometime after that day I decided it was time to really crack down on the problem and get it solved. After all, it seemed so easy in the commercials. I went through a ton of face washes and toners and moisturizers before giving in and trying AcneFree, this in store kit similar to Proactiv. While using it I liked to pretend like I was in a comercial, raving about how well it worked and how amazed I was at how fast it went away. The only problem was that it was doing next to nothing except maybe making the problem worse. But at that point, I wasn't too discouraged. There were, after all, more products to try.

Like Clean and Clear Advantage, which I went to next. It seemed similar to AcneFree, but I thought it might at least do something. It didn't. In fact, while on Clean and Clear I think I hit my lowest point. My lowest, most desperate point.

Early in the summer I decided that I just couldn't face another school year strutting the halls with a face full of unsightly red marks, so I picked up my first tube of liquid foundation and began to wear it regurally. However, it wasn't exactly covering it all up, so I got some powder to go with it. And then some blush. And them some concealer. And before I knew it, I was throwing 7 different types of chemicals on my face every day (face wash, toner, lotion, foundation, powder, concealer, blush). So I got some mascara just to add some differentiality (is that a word?). Anyways, I hoped it would distract attention to my eyes a little bit.

The make-up worked well, actually. On off days I wouldn't blend quite right, and my face ending up looking a totally different color than the rest of me, but at that time I prefered being the color of make-up to being the color of red. In general, I had a pretty good rountine down.

Except soon, I started to feel a prisoner in my own skin. The make-up made me feel like I was hiding this dirty little secret, like it was covering up this hidden real me. I started getting tired of spending so much time on my appereance, especially when none of my friends seemed to be having this problem. I began another period of experiments, this time even going to a dermatologist. He gave me some soap and this cream while recomending that I try Neutrogena Skin Clearing Liquid Foundation.

Well, if it worked, I wouldn't be here. In short, the stuff he gave me dried out my skin so much that it was just red. Not even because of the blemishes, it was just dry, and red. It made it difficult to put make-up on it, which really put me in a tough spot. I wanted the soap and cream to work, so I tried putting the make - up on top, but the make-up would just get all globbed up in the peeling skin and look terrible. So sometimes I would cheat and use some lotion, when I knew that probably was doing nothing for me. The last option would have been to wear no make-up, but my skin just looked so terrible that I would cry the entire day if I left the house au naturel.

I knew then that I was just stuck between a rock and a hard place. Nothing was working, nothing was helping, and poor pitiful me just lost it. At my wits end, I decided to just google acne and see what came up. Lo and behold, this beautful website did.

I convinced myself to try it out, only after I'd tried the store versions first. I was so, SO happy when my skin actually responded to the regimen. So so so so so happy. I'd like to have a moment of silence and reflection on how wonderful the Regimen is.

:wacko:

However, my happy story doesn't end there, because I am dumb. The Regimen got me to a place where I wasn't having a breakout every single day. They only came occasionally. The only thing left were some (a lot) of those red marks blemishes leave behind and take forever to go away. They were kind of (really) ugly and annoying, but I thought since the breakouts had subsided it was safe to return to make-up (I'd taken a detoxifying period where I avoided make-up completely). Apparently it wasn't safe though, because the make-up brought back the zits along with some new red marks, and I am pissed.

This time, it's for real. This is the beginning of my 5th summer dealing with acne, and I'm about ready to be done. It's coming full force, baby. Those little red bitches won't see it coming.

I'm going to do my best to keep updating this blog on the condition of my skin, what I did as treatment (keeping up with the regimen, using make-up, eating habits, etc.), and any other special details that may have affected it.

I'm unfortunately fully aware that acne is a condition, and it probably won't magically go away in later years. I could be using the Regimen for a long time. It's a slight hassel, but I'll take it if it means getting my skin back. Because if I get my skin back, I can get my self confidence back, and if I get my self confidence back, I can *dramatic moment* get my life back.

So, if you read all of that, wow. That's really awesome. Thank you. If you didn't, thank you. It was kind of embarassing.

In the meantime, here's to this random violin emoticon.

:cool:

May he always keep his perfect yellow skin.



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