Friday 10th June 2011
Last night I was meant to go for a family meal and then go to my boyfriends house. People who have seen my skin at its worst and love me anyway. I had a break out yesterday and I felt so depressed, I've been doing EVERYTHING for my skin and literally spent over Â£100 on products this month.
I tried to power through, did a honey mask to take down the redness and used a makeup brush to apply the clinique anti blemish foundation. It kind of made the raised lumps look more obvious and the shaddows and zits made the foundation look darker - it looked like I had a strange beard.
I ended up cancelling on everyone and stayed in. It made me feel so depressed that I'd spent yet another evening doing jack shit because of my skin.
My boyfriend called me and for the first time I told him how upset I am about my skin - I was crying and choking and blubbering about how ANGRY I am. He told me he still thinks I'm beautiful but I still couldn't stop crying until I fell asleep.
I am so exhausted - I am powerless to acne.
I have my first appointment with the dermatologist today so hopefully I can get some answers from a professional rather than a barbie in a labcoat at the clinique counter.