Saturday morning, sunny and gorgeous but I am stuck inside covered in scabs. Ugh. FML.
Not only are my scabs big and red, but they seem like are gonna take forever to heal and fall off. My skin is also getting really dry, especially on my lips, but still oily on my nose and forehead. I don't want to do any sort of scrubbing, because it might tear off the healing scabs and it also seems to make me break out when I do so. I think my skin seriously hates me sometimes. (I'm sure everyone here thinks the same thing!) I am usually really good about not touching my face, but lately I can't keep my fingers away. I messed with a little forming zit under my lip and now it is very small scab too. Why can't I stop this? If I keep this up I will never be able to leave my apartment! I guess I just find my acne (Whiteheads and close comedones) to be incredibly disgusting and can't stand to see or feel them on my face. Obviously huge scabs are more disgusting than zits, but that is how my fucked up mind works. I am just OCD about my skin and feel like I can control the pimples. Who knows how long they will take to go away, and whiteheads are just so easy to get rid of. I just think that I need to be aware of my picking triggers. Feeling greasy and dirty, being tired or hungry, and things stressing me out. This past pickfest was because of a big, gross, cystlike lump right above my lip. It hurt to talk and move my mouth and once it formed a head it needed to get the fuck off my face. I figured, hey, this is going to form a scab so why not mess with the rest of my bumps.
But today is just another day in healing. I need to start loving my skin and myself. I will cuddle with my boyfriend. I will take a nice shower and put on real clothes to feel human. I will clean the apartment. I will cut my nails short and paint them my nice mint green color. I will move on!
That's all for now, gonna start enjoying my day.
P.S.-hope that damn BHA arrives soon. If my skin clears up there won't be crap to pick at.