I went to fucking therapy for my acne problems.
Let me start from the beginning my explaining exactly why.
Ever since I started the regimen 3-4 weeks ago, I havn't exactly been socializing because i'm so ashamed of my scarred/pimpled/red face complexion. I spend most of my time now coming home from school and taking a shower, spending atleast 30 minutes dedicated to the acne.org regimen. I've spent probably 20+ hours researching acne, i'm deffenetly beyond informed on everything acne. I've been getting so consumed by my acne and scars that i am not living life.
So my parents treatened to take me to therapy. I laughed in their faces, i'm like wtf nothing is wronggg with me, i keep saying "when i'm clear, i'll be SOOO sociable,"
i just want to lay low for a while till my skin gets back on track.
but my mom took me to a damn therapist and she was explaining her concerns and shit,
i didn't know i would break down the way i did at the therapists office.
I remember one thing my mom said that hit my heart so hard, it left me breathless with no words to say except tears.
it was about how I had this one tantrum to my parents saying "YOU DONT' UNDERSTAND, i need to stay out of anything sociable for a while until i am clear. you don't get it, how HARD it is to be at school, seeing hundreds of kids a day with FUCKING CLEAR SKIN, NOT A SCAR ON THEIR FACES, it's ashaming when i look at myself in the school bathroom mirror. i dont look people in the eyes anymore. i have NO confidence now,"
my brother was in the room and said "you dont know what it was like for me, going to school for 6 months on accutane with horrible side effects and nasty fucking chapped lips EVERYDAY."
i went up to my room and slammed the door.
i cried, obviously, and took a shower and did the regimen.
but at the therapists office my mom explained how my brother (my tough brother who never shows any love or emotions) went back downstairs and started crying for me.
But at the therapists office i DID look like a little fool, with tears down my face, all my face makeup coming off, but i didn't care, and couldn't control it, for my emotions were controlling me..
The suckish thing about is is that I have to go back to the therapists next week.
FUCK MY LIFE. FUCK YOU ACNE AND SCARS, I WANT YOU GONEEE
even though most of my acne is gone, it's mainly just scars...