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Day 203. meh

goldmund18

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I'm now 19! Skin is glowing! But my neck still isn't clear, and my complexion isn't even, and texture not totally smooth, blah-blah-blah--Whatever, right? Well... I know as you probably know it's easier in theory to not let such minor, superficial imperfections bother you, but it is difficult still even now despite the huge transformation I've made. Got a haircut a couple of weeks ago and I'm feeling a lot more confident, but I still have moments where I become obssesive about the tone, texture, complexion, dryness, size of my pores, etc. I find I must restrain myself from staring in the mirror for too long, as my pores appear to grow larger and larger untill I see craters in my face that didn't exist before. 'Bloody Hell!' I'll exclaim and furiously bite my thumb.

Oh, and I found the perfect moisturisrising combination to rid me of my flaky skin. I moisturise first with a generous amount of aloe vera gel, then dab my fingers with vaseline and gently spread all over my face and neck. By applying the vaseline afterwards I find my skin doesn't feel tight like I'm wearing a mask. Avoiding the skin around the eyes becuase you that creates an unattractive glaze. It's easy to apply to much vaseline causing your face to shine like a beacon, and feel greasy, so if I do overdo it I simply dab my face softly on a dry cotton towel and my face is no longer shiny. If you have flaky skin I hope you will find this tip usefull. I'm not certain if it was an original idea on my part, but I do remember desperately looking for suggestions on this site for an effective moisturiser for my relentlessly flaky skin, Aloe gel and vaseline came up often seperately, and well in my desperation I geuss I just started plastering all the moisturiser I had onto my face. Most users on this site recommend you only use these products at night because of the shine However, it depends I think on how dry your skin is; the following advice works for me as I'm on accutane I find that even a thick layer of vaseline will absorb into my skin within a few hours and my skin still may even feel a litlle dry. So, of course just follow your own common sense.

Even as I am writing this entry I am scratching at my neck becuase I find even the slightest movemnt in craning irritates the acne which compells me to scratch and feel what or where the problem is. Every time I try to forget the sharp pang presses a thorn in my brain which compels me to scratch, which I shouldn't causing me distress for not being able to resist my irrational urge.

Alas, I ramble on, perhaps because it is late and I've nothing better to do, perhaps I'm gripped in a mild hysteria, had too much coffee and now have an abundance of energy which I'm using to spew out my internal monologue in a way that's relevant to what I previously wrote, which was about itchy skin. If I go on any futher, and waffle any longer you will no doubt exit the page. On a final note I implore that you read my blog without objectivity and judge the author any which way you see fit but remember that I'm a real human being with feelings just like you, and these feeling expressed here are sincere, for with the complete anonynimity I have I cannot see why I would need to conceal my true emotions.


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