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Day 14



It's been exactly two weeks since I began taking 40mg of Claravis daily. My face gets tingly and itchy as if I were on some sort of narcotic (experience from post-surgery prescriptions, terrible stuff). I take the sensations as indicators of the medication working its magic. My face has been super oily for these past couple weeks. Disgusting. But it seems to be lightening up; I'm just using Ole Henriksen Vitamin Plus now as a moisturizer, the other stuff (First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream) was too heavy duty for my skin's needs. Ole Henriksen's line for oily skin doesn't contain too many acids as typical for this genre of skin care products with exception to his actual anti-acne line, the main ingredient in which being white willow bark, the precursor to salicylic acid.

I need to get a job for the summer, but the jobs I applied to I'm over-qualified for and they still haven't called. I think it may be because of my skin. How am I suppose to get a job in the public eye and have a disgusting face? The point of being an employee is to represent a small part of the company that you're working for! I don't think they see me as the ideal candidate for another one of their smiling faces behind the counter. Most of the places to work around here are food-oriented. No one wants to get food from a server with a pizza face. Literal infection. Mobile infection. I may as well be an AIDS patient with open sores. Lovely. So I can't go shopping, which makes me feel better because I can't get a job, which makes me depressed, because I can't look as presentable as a normal human being, which also makes me depressed. Depression 3, Happiness -1. I have a happiness deficit. Now I understand why people experience suicidal ideations while on this medication. Not that I'm suicidal, because I'm not. I'm the opposite of suicidal, despite what I've quantified above. I'm nearly narcissistic; I see this as just another thing to get in my way. So essentially, I'm livid. "Depression" is just the only word I could think of to convey the possible emotions incited by the plights described.

In conclusion, I'm angry and can't wait for this to be over.


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