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I hope they fade...



So I was just looking at pictures from a few years ago, and in high school. I wore makeup, maybe a lot, but my acne wasn't all that bad. I almost forgot how great my skin looked, although I had many clogged pores. Then again, I don't think I ever took a picture even of myself without makeup on. I NEVER let anyone, not even my family, see me without makeup. Maybe 3-4 pimples a month. I thought it was so bad and was embarrassed of the "scars." I would tell people in high school, "I have bad scars" and they thought I was crazy. Man, if I could go back to the skin I had- even with the very mild acne....

When I stopped using birth control in 2008, my skin ERUPTED into a disaster. Went on accutane for 3 months, which cleared it for a time, but still got the occasional breakout. Just recently in October/november 2010 my skin exploded. At the time, I switched mineral makeup, used a new shampoo, and started using ProActiv Gentle formula (salicylic acid base). I believe these things greatly worsened my acne.

I keep reminding myself I've come soooo far in just letting people see me without makeup. I go in public and hang out with close friends without coverage. I'm glad that I am free from that fear, but it is still a battle/fear I have to overcome everyday...

I just wish, and desperately hope these scars will fade. Though my skin is smooth, I have these purplish scars all over that just make me look like I still have acne. The rough itchy patches are healing since I haven't used BP all over the last few days. I believe my skin has an intolerance to BP, since anywhere I put it on my body, even as spot treatment, that area is very very itchyI've used tea tree on the spots. I still wear foundation sometimes, but I don't layer it on trying to achieve flawless looking skin. I just gently apply using downward strokes.

I'm nervous that I will break out however, since I haven't been consistent with using BP. I just noticed today I have a few clogged pores on my chin, and am wondering if it's the Jane Iredale makeup, the Olay regenerist night cream I recently started using, or just from not using BP. I'm trying to remain optimistic, hoping that the new form of birth control (what I was on in high school) will clear my acne.

Currently, I have two very small active pimples on my right cheek. I almost never break out there but for some reason I have the last few weeks. :doubt: I also have a tiny pimple on the side of my nostril. There's a small bump on my forhead, but other than that no other active acne. Just ugly scars. Theres one clogged pore on each corner of my mouth. :(

Maybe I will try neosporin for a few days, not using it religiously because I read here that your skin can build a tolerance to it. I'm still grateful Jesus' has healed me and continues to bring freedom in other areas of my life.


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