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Day 42. Things are looking pretty good!



Day 42. Hey All. It's been a while. I haven't had a huge pimple in about 2.5 weeks. I have still been getting very small tiny whiteheads or red dots that seem to pop up, look large for about 24 hours, and then they sort of dry off. I still have some flesh colored bumps along my forehead and upper cheeks. My pores are still rather large. In fact, the only thing that's freaking me out is my pores. I have what look like tiny pricks in my skin (not complete ice pick scars, but almost tiny pricks from a needle that look like holes). Some are very visible and they are concentrated on my cheek area. It really bothers me, and I feel like my skin will never look the way it did before. I never had acne on my cheeks or my forehead EVER until 4 months ago (only on my chin and area in between my nose and mouth), so to see my cheeks look like these holes will never close or go away depresses me significantly.

My nose and cheek area exploded in blackheads around day 15 and A LOT of them went away, especially on my nose, by Day 35 or so. Now there seem to be more again, and the ones in my cheeks WILL NOT BUDGE. It's super annoying. I'm actually still on 40 mg this month. I also have about 12-15 clogged pores on my chin still. You can't really see them unless you're inspecting my skin, but clogged pores always lead to breakouts so I want them gone! Again, about 4-5 of them are deep blackheads that will not go. I still have post inflammatory hyperpigmentation (i.e. red marks from past breakouts). Some are mild, but I have 5-6 from cysts that are still quite dark. Those I know will go away. It's these DAMN HOLES in my face that I'm freaking about.

The indent from the cortisone shot has started to fill in, although I think there may be hypopigmentation around it (white circle) and I definitely think there is a small scar in the red mark. I do have shallow scarring on my forehead too. In general, I'm just pissed that I have scarred because I don't have severe acne. I had good skin until the age of 22, and now this. I'm pissed at acne! I wish it would never have happened to me.

Anyway, dryness is very minimal. Body is not dry at all. Face is only dry where I spot treat a pimple, and I still use a salicylic acid face wash twice a day, which is something I never thought could happen on Accutane. My lips are the only thing that is dry. A new layer peels every week or so. Some days they are fine, some days I want to rip them off because they are so peely. My face is also kind of itchy at times. I think that this happens when I spot treat. Otherwise, things are okay. I finally feel OKAY, instead of mortified, about being without make up in front of the guy I'm dating. I'm still embarrassed in front of other people because of the discoloration of my skin, and all these holes in my face. I wear make up at the gym still, even though that's a no no but I can't help it.

Good luck on the 'tane journey everyone!


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