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Embarrassing times



Since starting the regimen, I've been very humbled. I've changed a lot in how I view my acne and what not. I look at pictures of when I wore lots of makeup (foundation) and wish my skin could look that good naturally. But now, after not wearing a lot of makeup for the last month, I wouldn't like how my skin looks with makeup.

This week I had clinical very early in the morning. I did the regimen, but only applied about 1/2 pump BP so it would dry quicker. I applied the most BP over the problem areas- right jawline and left cheek. I was conscious of my red horrible skin all day at the hospital- hoping that people are looking into my eyes when they talk to me. A woman in my class on lunch yesterday asked me if I got a peel recently. I told her that I'm using BP and its peeling my skin and making it super red and dry. I can't wear makeup when I'm on it.

My skin seems less dry now that I'm using 1 pump. I'm not sure whether to increase the BP, since my break outs are few. I think the reasons why I break out is because of irritation/wearing makeup. I bought the Almay makeup, but my skin is just too dry for anything to look smooth on it. I had always wondered why my skin had these super tiny bumps- like my chin and upper lip. You didn't notice them unless I pulled the skin tight. Now, those clogged pores (that I've had since I can remember) are gone. If I see one around my mouth, I know a small pimple will form and sure enough one does. But thank God the BP gets rid of it in a day.

I quit the gluten free diet. I am still avoiding dairy, since I want to avoid additional hormones. I realized last week that I could possibly be allergic to tomatoes, so for the last few days I've avoided tomatoes/tomato products. Granted- I don't eat as much gluten/bread as before, but I just realized that people with a true gluten allergy get really sick.

I've slacked on taking the acnepril capsules. I have 4 large pimples on my back and they itch super bad. I applied a crapload of BP at night the last few days- wondering why I broke out. I don't keeo track daily of my pimples. If I break out, I try to remember a week ago and if I was touching/rubbing that area. Is it because I didn't do the regimen religiously on my back? I ordered AHA+ so I hope to try that on my back. I might try a spot on my face to make sure I'm not allergic to it.

I have a cold. :) so I'm very tired and don't want to do my homework/the regimen. I just want to wear makeup again and cover these nasty scars and red marks. My skin would actually look pimple-less if I wore makeup, but these horrible purplish scars make me look like I have more acne than I currently do. I guess I have to wait until i'm 90-100% clear to try makeup because I think no matter what makeup it is- it will break me out. I think I will return the almay and maybe buy jane iredale.

I will continue with the Regimen- and maybe just use 1 1/2 pumps once a day to adjust to the dryness. Although I hate my skin right now (since I'm not wearing makeup) the DKR IS working. I just hope to do something to fade these scars. They are new enough, so if I treat them they may go away, right? I'm also thinking about switching to Orth-tri-cycline low birth control since that stuff is what I used in highschool and my skin looked damn good. However, this bc gave me morning sickness....

Anyways, thats my update. My skin is gradually getting better- I'm just trying to be optimistic. Any encouragement? Thanks all.


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