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January 24th.



Today, there is an improvement in my face. Not a huge one, but signs of progress are beginning to show as a result of the Benzoyl Peroxide as well as the Clinique.

Of course, not everything is good. My face feels tight today, thanks to the Clinique and the Clearasil face wash I used a few days ago. I never learn! Every time I use that stuff- perhaps twice a year when my skin really sucks- the area around my mouth and chin becomes very dry and uncomfortable. So, I'm not touching that stuff again. I mean it this time!

I had a small break-out overnight, also. Just a few small spots on my nose, and above my lip. That, I have read on this very website, is a normal reaction to the BP, and so I wasn't too down about it.

One of the (many, many) things I hate about acne is its effect on almost everything else. My social life, firstly. I let it get to me that much on Friday that I told a guy who had asked me to go to the pub that I was busy. Yes, I've let it make me feel that way, and I know I shouldn't, but anyone who has ever had acne will know how difficult it is to face the world and carry on with life as normal, without being afraid to look people in the eye, and wanting to keep your distance so you don't have to wonder if they notice every single blemish and find you repulsive.

I also feel as if I can't wear nice clothes when my acne is bad. I guess the mind-set there is that no matter how smart/nice my clothes are, they can't compensate for the state of my face. A couple of weeks ago, I bought a beautiful aubergine dress and I would love to wear it to work instead of just wearing trousers all the time. But I feel I can't, and I know it would just look ridiculous whilst I'm looking/feeling like this. I'd be interested to know if many others feel this way.

Also, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it :)) my boss is really gorgeous, which makes conversations with him very difficult on a daily basis, when all I want to do is sit in my office alone and occasionally wave to passers by at a distance. When I speak to people who stand/sit close to me, I feel sorry for them, that they have to be exposed to my face. This is probably sounding nuts, isn't it? Haha. Well, I'm going to stop for now. Will post tomorrow-- hopefully my skin is looking a little more hydrated, then! Stay away from Clearasil!


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