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January 23rd.



So, today I started on Benzoyl Peroxide. My mum went to the chemist and bought me some 5% stuff, because I sort of feel like I'm in limbo. When I visit my GP next week, I will ask for 10%.

I'm not entirely sure about the real reason for this big breakout. I know my skin hasn't been this bad in a very long time- and when there has been an invasion of spots, they haven't been- I don't know- this... distruptive. Last week I was very stressed out, and I didn't help myself, because I couldn't shake off my thoughts of work, and the decision I'm going to have to make very soon. The crying didn't help, nor did the putting on make-up every day, simply because I felt I needed to get out of the house. So, stress has to be a contributing factor.

Hormones are another. Definitely. The acne is symmetrical, a cluster at the top of my cheekbones, and around my mouth. It seems to collate on my lower cheeks, leaving dark scars in its wake.

I have been using Clinique's Anti Blemish range for three days now. I don't expect a miracle healing, as I have used this before and know it can take a while. The first time I used it was in the shop itself; the assistant took off my make-up (much to my own embarrassment), and applied the cleansing foam, toner and moisturiser, before applying a light foundation to my very distressed skin. My skin is sensitive, and therefore took a while to adapt to this new set of chemicals on it every day. But it got better. I must have been maybe sixteen then, and I ran out and didn't buy more. By that time I was on the contraceptive pill Yasmin, and I think things were working out. I don't really remember all that well. It's difficult to remember a time when I thought my skin was good.

So, I'm hoping that the Anti Blemish Solutions takes effect. And when I ask for the contraceptive pill next week, I realise things will likely get worse before they get better. That's only natural.

As soon as everything has calmed down a bit, and I get a day to myself, I'm definitely going to be purchasing Clinique's Anti-Blemish foundation and concealer. I'm going to do things properly this time.


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