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Almost end of month 3



TIme has flown by. I stopped writing for awhile b/c that seemed to drag the process. Taking the tane pill just feels like taking a regular pill everyday. Like a multivitamin or something simple, I never think "Oh, here's some accutane" haha but yeah, my body has handled accutane very well. My skin isn't that dry, I actually need to wash my scalp every few days cause it does start to feel oily (not gross oily, just normal) my cheeks are pinkish but not bad. But my face has been unpredictable. Last week or so ago my face was starting to look bumpy again, that only lasted for about a week. Now it's smooth. It's like, "okay skin... make up your fucking mind!!!"

And I'm feeling slightly heartbroken. I wish I was in LOVE. okay, maybe not love... but madly in LIKE with somebody. I was dating sombody for a few weeks and I was fallin' head over heels... but It was me who broke it off a few days ago. I did that because I knew it would be best for me in the long run. Okay, this doesn't make sense so I'll explain. To make a long story short, he is in the process of a divorce (it's been over with his wife for about a year and she has a boyfriend)...

he doesn't want to jump into anything serious. He still wants to date other people. He is 27.

I'm 22, almost 23. I have dated tons of people. I want to finally have a boyfriend. It's been too long. I agreed to be in a open relationship with him, go out on other dates with guys (not have sex) but then I came to realize that I can't do that. I just want ONE for now. I am not looking to get settled down or married right now, but I just want to be in a steady relationship. This guy that I am seeing is not ready and I told him it was in his best interest to date other girls and not have to worry about telling me about it cause we are in a open relationship. FUCK, this sounds confusing. So I broke it off. I knew if he were to start dating other girls it would break my heart a little. I can't handle that, just can't.

I can't believe how fast I fell for somebody in just a few weeks.

This sucks.

My heart hurts.


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