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it's been awhile. +ramble



Haven't updated in 5 days, which really isn't qualifibly long enough to be considered "awhile", but for me it kind of is. ANYWAYS, all the past breakouts pretty much healed, in a way. I mean, they've been popped (ick) and have scabbed over so now I'm just waiting for the scab to heal.. if that makes sense. I'd love to peel it off which I know is gross but I CANNOT not pick a scab. My cousin and I have this problem but whatevesssssss.

Um, but yeah, basically clear except for a nasty scab on my chin which is healing as well. I'm not sure how it occurred because, thanks to Doryx (doxycycline), I've been clear there for quite some time, but I have a hunch it's stress related 'cause I've been sick and school and ugh.

I'm looking in to changing my regimen products because I've been researching different skin irritants and exactly how much is in basically ALL the products I use but they seem to be working for me as far as I'm concerned so maybe I should just leave it alone. I dunno.

I reallllllllllllllllllllly want to go on Accutane over the summer because I think it'll be very beneficial for me but it's at least a 4-6 month process and I know an IB is basically inevitable so I'm only willing to go on it when school is out but that only leaves me three months and it might not even work in that time limit and I'm afraid it'll all just be a waste. So I really have no clue what I'm going to do about it because the drug is really unpredictable and I'd hate to be the new kid who the previous day has GREAT skin, and have to wake up the next day with a hot mess goin' on, y'know? But I guess if I want it bad enough, I'll suck it up. Although, I don't want to be stuck in the house (bedridden, incapable of going out of the house due to a horrible IB, etc) all summer like every other summer of my goddamned life sooooooo. What to do, what to do? I'm so scatter-brained right now and I know this is a hella long post I doubt anyone actually reads... so.. yeah,. Sorry non-existent readers.

/ramble over

If I do end up taking accutane over the summer, I'm planning on making a "preparation basket" full of things people recommend that help when dealing with the side effects. The list:

- aquaphor lip balm

- eyedrops (can't remember the specific brand name everyone raves about)

- really thick moisturizer, maybe vaseline or just something from Clinique

- queen helene masque

- books & magazines (for when I'm stuck in the house, bored, and have probably lost all hope lol)

Mm, that's all I can think of for now but I'll add more later.

/off topic/

I've been listening to the piano version of "Yellow" by Coldplay on repeat for the past two days in a row. I'm in love with this song <3


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