My face is looking a little better today. Not so inflamed. Red marks are fading pretty fast. It looks like the blackheads which have infested my nose for years are going/gone. I had a nosebleed today, idk if its accutane related or not but either way it wasn't a big deal.
My skins clearly less oily than it was even yesterday. And my lips are so chapped and dry. Kind of sucks but aquaphor has really helped.
Overall, I'm feeling pretty good. Mentally, I'm not the best but I don't blame that on accutane but on the fact that my skin has been bad for the last 4 months.
On a personal note, things are rough right now. There really is a stigma around having bad skin in highschool. People just judge you for it right off the bat. Like I said my skin was always pretty bad, but not awful, until this year. I can't believe the difference in the way I am treated now. Friends I've had for years no longer want to hangout. Girls who used to be interested in me have made fun of my skin to my face. There was even this one girl I know, who used to have terrible skin, who went on accutane and cleared up, who made fun of me. Really? She should know what it feels like, people treated ber bad when she was breaking out. Idk. Its making me realise how superficial people are. Nothings changed about me my skins just gotten bad. Idk this whole experience has just opened my eyes to how fake people can be, and that the people who I thought were my good friends aren't at all. The minute I started breaking out and things started going down hill, every single one of them has treated me increasingly worse.
To be honest though, acne has made me a better person. I was a jerk sometimes, and it took getting made fun of for having bad skin to realise how messed up it is to put anybody down. Acne has made me a better student. If I'm not going out, I'm studying, and that has really paid off. Since my skins bad, I don't party. And I was the kind of person who could never say no. But not going out and getting messed up because of my skin has made me realise how stupid it is to be doing that in the first place. Acne has sucked but honestly its taught me some really important lessons on what really matters and how to be a good person, that I wouldn;t trade even for clear skin.
Lol im sorry for getting all philosophical but it feels good to write about this. If anyone else is struggling mentally right now because they get mocked or their friends are jerks or whatever, just try to look on the bright side of things. Having acne in the long run might not be a terrible thing.