So usually, on a day to day basis, I am so stressed over my acne and obsessively analysing it and treating it, that I have no time to think about other things. But over the last few days, since my skin has been pretty good, I've had some time to reflect on my life and acne, and ask myself some questions:
I am nearly 30 but why do I keep having acne (although it is mild/moderate)? Will I have to keep taking strong medications to treat it for the rest of my life? Is there something wrong with my body? Is that why I have had this for the last 10+ years??
Often in the past when I have had these thoughts, I push them out of my mind. It is hard to answer these questions and usually I always want a quick fix. But for some reason, I was thinking about this a lot yesterday,and started to analyse my acne/lifestyle.
Medications that I've used (both the pill and Epiduo) have worked amazingly for me and I am so thankful for that, because I have had a good quality of life while I was on them. But the problem is that I am reliant on them forever. They seem to treat the symptoms, but the root of the problem remains when I stop using them. Throughout my life with acne, I have never been disciplined enough to look at my lifestyle flaws and change them or use natural products, and see if they make a difference. I've always wanted a quick result.
If I had tried a more holistic approach and it didn't work and then I relied on medication, I wouldn't be so judgmental of myself. But I have been lazy and impatient. So I think at this stage in my life (hopefully older and wiser!), I should try experimenting. I should approach treating my acne in a more holistic way. Of course there is a place for medication, and I would go on it if I needed to, but it doesn't hurt to trial some natural alternative/ treatment. To be open.
On other things, I haven't followed my plan of weaning myself off Epiduo. It's weird, but I am taking risks. Like yesterday, I didn't use Epiduo at all. A few days ago, I'd feel ill thinking about not applying Epiduo (even for a day), but I had this feeling/thought yesterday " just don't take it, see how you go, you'll be okay". I used manuka honey instead before I went to bed. I was worried to look at myself in the mirror this morning, but amazingly, my skin looked fine. No breakouts. Smooth! I don't know if it is a good idea to trial going off Epiduo cold turkey, but I am thinking of doing it!! Thinking of just using Manuka instead. Worse comes to worse, I can always get back on Epiduo this month. It's funny how you can have a well thought through plan, but sometimes your instincts takes over! Wish me luck!