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Day 3 - No sleep = bad skin

S T A R

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I had a late night yesterday, and got very little sleep. And it has really affected my skin! My skin looks awful. It's dull, uneven in skin tone and the hyper pigmentation marks seem darker... sucks!! I also have a pimple forming on the right side of my mouth. It hurts to open my mouth.

Sleep is so important. I need to get to bed earlier... I hate being a night person! I love staying up late...

But NO not anymore... I have to take care of my skin!

I can now add sleep to the list of things that causes my acne - genetics, hormones, stress, and now lack of sleep ( I have a feeling this list is going to get longer in the future....)

On other things, my diet is going okay, didn't have any junk today...that's pretty good for me!

I love my chocolate - but I have been substituting it for some organic liquorice instead. It's a good sugar fix.

I should be drinking more water though... but I hate having to pee all the time...lol

I am a bit nervous about tomorrow night... I have a dinner party on and it's my first social event in 3 months!

The last three months have been really hard for me because of my skin.I have been hiding at home and avoiding all social events! I have not seen any of my friends in the last 3 months...I have been making all sorts of stupid excuses. This has been really hard on my husband, who has had to go on his own to these events, and lie about me being sick or whatever. He has been really supportive, but I know it's not easy for him to understand my situation.

My skin has improved now - I don't have as much active acne, it's more hyperpigmentation, but I still feel very self conscious. Also, I think I have gotten so used to being a hermit that I have no motivation to go out. I've also been so anxious lately, that I think even though my skin is getting better, I can't get rid of this anxiety (keep thinking...what if it gets worse...what if people think i look bad...etc etc). I feel like an idiot! I do want to go out and have a life... but yeah I am fearful. My husband made me promise a few weeks ago that I would start coming out from the start of Dec...and so now I have to... argghh..... I think most of friends are annoyed at me as it is because I have not made an effort to go out with them lately. It's hard to explain this acne and need for isolation business to anyone... if you don't have acne and self-esteem issues, you won't get it!

...I guess I really need to start somewhere - I am not perfect, but hey it's okay, I need to start living. If I wait for things to be perfect, I might be waiting forever.

I am also not going to wear any make-up tomorrow night - I don't want to take any risk of irritating my skin. It's really sensitive at the moment because of the Epiduo. Gosh this is going to be a hard tomorrow...especially with that nasty pimple forming near my mouth.... god help me get through this! Better get some sleep as well!



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