So a bit about me.
Over the last few months my life has been hell, crashed my car, broke my wrist (2 days before my exams, nightmare!), developed quite serious depression, a worsened gambling problem, and developed a severe habit of picking my at my skin and my acne (which would be mild if i didnt infect it due to picking). Through this i have had some wonderful friends and a wonderful girlfriend.
However due to embarrassment, due to the state of my skin post picking, i have isolated myself from my friends, broken up with my girlfriend, and generally hit rock bottom.. all because of my insecurities.
When i say pick, i dont just mean the odd squeeze, i pick, i sqeeze until it weeps, i sometimes even stick pins in my skin, infecting it and making it very problematic for days. Its a very bad habit and obsession which i am going to try and kick from today. Im sure others are the same so im not on my own.
As well as all this, i have progressively lost my appetite and motivation for working out, wheras about 11 months ago, before all this started becoming severe, i was a healthy 11 stone, with a fairly muscular healthy body (I'm an 18 year old male btw) i have gone down to under 10 stone and become noticeably skinny and generally unhealthy..
So that's a bit about me, currently feeling like a complete wreck, but there are people in worse situations, much worse.
Today is going to be the start of a tough journey to recovery. I have been given 10mg accutane to start me off, my next appointment is on 20 dec, so i will probably be upping my dose to 20mg. As i said my acne is mild. At the moment though my face would draw stares because of the way i pick at it and the scabs i create.
So here we go, just took my first 2 x 5mg pills, with milk and food at 11am, as i will be doing for the next 20 days, before maybe upping my dose. The derm told me i was to expect the usual side effects, such as dry lips, skin and maybe an IB. He has prescribed me with more antidepressants to help control my depression, which i understand in rare circumstances can worsen during the course.
Over the next few months, i am going to try and completely kick the picking habit, no matter how hard, and i have set myself a target of between 11 and 12 stone, to build muscle and to be healthy again.
6 months from today (the expected length of treatment) , i hope my worries will be over. I'll try and keep posted atleast every week, reply to any comments or queries, maybe more frequently.