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Scar ranting



My acne scar is weird. In most lighting you can't see it. It's as if it doesn't exist. In other lighting it looks like a hole, crater, dark shadow, irregular. Depending on the lighting it morphs into another shape. It drives me crazy. My fear is someone noticing it and thinking it looks stupid and unattractive. I have other acne scarring but it doesn't bother me nearly as much as this does. Anything but the tip of my nose. Right in the center. Does anybody have any ideas? Any similar experiences? The scar on the tip of my nose is like the period to mark all my feelings of inadequacy, my sadness and pain. Nothing seems to be going right in my life and this is just another blow to my self-esteem. I'm clinically depressed, on anti-deppresants that don't even work and acne has made my low mood worse. I've tried different things including antibiotics that didn't do a thing. My dermatologist wanted to put me on accutane but I'm too scared. I get acne here and there but nothing has messed me more psychologically than having a scar on the tip of my nose. I'm a skin picker too so that can't help. I'm trying to stop the habit.

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Dont get me started about stuff on my nose. It was some 3 weeks ago in the bathroom while washing that I remembered the epitome of feelings I had in those times. Way back, in school. Everybody knew, now- nobody knows. Because nobody is left. It completely fu*kruined my youth for 4 years. The saddest being a special (specialest, in my heart) someone being mixed in the story. The pigmentation went down at some point over the time of one summer, which was 4 years after the initial inflammation (1998-2002). From then till now dealing with other inflammations / scars.I`ve been there, I am there.

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