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the UGLY child

kina810

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I've known it for a long time.In my siblings of four,i am the ugly child.Always has been.Always will be.My skin is not as flawless as my sisters',my nose is not as sharp as my brothers',my eyes are not as gorgeous as my little sisters'....It seemed like they have taken all the amazing features and left me with crappy ones.

I avoid social settings.Parties,gatherings....I would die of humiliation and self-pity if i do.I've heard it multiple times..."You have horrible skin".Please.I know i do.Don't point it out to me again and again and again...My acne ruins everything.The marks left behind are constant reminders of how it threatens to attack again,bringing down my self-confidence with it.

I wear lots of makeup.Foundation,concealer..in hopes of becoming pretty.Every single day,without forgetting.But what's the use?My scars are still there,even with makeup.And when i wash it all off,the water is accompanied by my tears.The pain,my self-worth...i could die right now and it'll be okay,because there would be one less ugly person on the planet.

Dear God.Please.I beg of you.I never miss my prayers.I am late sometimes,but i always pray to you dear God.Forgive me for not being grateful and thankful that i AM alive and well,instead just whining and complaining about my face.Forgive me,for i have sinned to you so many times.Perhaps this is your punishment to me.Dear God,please let me heal and be pretty again.



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You seem to be in a pretty dark place. I can't say I know EXACTLY how you feel but, I can tell you, that I have cried when I wash my face. I too wear makeup daily, without fail. No makeup? No me. When I feel like the ugly one I think about how pain brings great art. For me, without acne constantly tearing apart my self-esteem, I wouldn't have a sense of humor. I'm not the good-looking sibling, but I'm the funny one. Maybe your siblings wish they had your hair or smile or something. How do you know? Maybe they wish they were as smart as you, or as nice or something. I'm sorry you feel this way. Good luck, kid!

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