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Week 9, Day 1

hotglue01

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I am officially on my third month of the Regimen.

Thoughts:

Active acne is way, way down. As we speak, I have... 5 zits/blemishes/blackheads on my face, none of them really active. 2 are basically uninflamed white heads. One is on my jawline, flattened out. Another by my temple, also flattened out. One is a tiny thing on my forehead that was a clogged pore/weird zit for MONTHS that is finally just going away for good (barely noticeable anyway). And the last is a zit I had by my mouth that is flat. The thing about these pimples, too, is that they aren't random-- they were all in spots that had blackheads or were problem areas to begin with. When the skin clears, I'm finding it stays clear.

When I started I probably had 14 or 15 blemishes. Most were on my chin/jawline area, and then a few on my forehead.

I still have red marks, but they are fading. I went without makeup on Sunday and went swimming, which was awesome, and I will do the same again this weekend. As I said, no one even noticed, and I'm truly, truly realizing that we are all our own worst critics.

My main problem, though, is this damn dryness. My chin and mouth area literally feel like leather. That said, I don't think the Olay Advanced Hydrating lotion I am using is really doing a damn thing. I never liked it to begin with, but my mom sent it to me and I had no choice but to use it because Japan doesn't sell lotion (just this weird moisturizing water that I suspect is utter bullshit). I am waiting for the Cetaphil as we speak. HOPEFULLY it came today, it's been nearly 2 weeks since my mom shipped it...

Anyway, I am really sick of this. On the one hand, I am loving that my skin is essentially clear. Seriously. Red marks also look about 39058 times less noticeable when there is no active acne around them (they're fading besides-- a pale, pale pink!!!). I have been obsessing-- seriously, I'm talking crying fits, minutes and minutes and minutes at a time scrutinizing my pores in the mirror, dreaming about acne, calling my family and crying nearly uncontrollably-- for MONTHS and I am still kind of caught in that cycle. YET, my skin has cleared up to the point that, even in all my obsessive compulsive glory, I literally JUMPED UP AND DOWN FOR JOY on Sunday before I went to the 4th of July BBQ my friends and I were having.

On the other, I am still self-conscious about my skin, albiet not as much and not over zits (just flakes and redness on the chin/mouth area).

When I go to the public baths now I feel GOOD. I am not self-conscious about my body anymore. My back this winter was covered in probably 60 huge zits (not cysts, but huge, painful zits). Now I have 1. 1. And it's small. The marks are also GONE.

My chest has a few marks, but they are shrinking daily. In a month the small ones will be gone, and in maybe 2 the big one will be. I don't care as much about that, though. They're not a big deal. My chestne was never really bad. No one even noticed at the beach, or if they did they didn't care.

Sigh. In a month, this entire thing will be over, I think. Which is GREAT because the teachers at my school are going on a trip. If something doesn't happen with Hot Judo Guy then I will burst. But I'll feel totally confident.

On that note, I feel confident talking to guys anyway. I actually don't think about my skin when flirting. Too bad I live in Japan and despite being a literal celebrity on my island men are terrified of me (unless they're drunk)...



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