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Hayyy guys...

Emma :)


Well i'm hoping for support and advice as I begin my roaccutane or 'accutane' course, hopefully there are others of you in a similar situation? :pray:

About me...

I'm 15 and as you can guess, I suffer from acne. I have suffered since about the age of 9 but at the beginning it wasn't severe. I went through countless medication, topical treatment e.t.c. through my doctor which resulted in nothing but frustration. I took tablet after tablet... none of which worked. As I grew up and became a teenager and started secondary school I'm sure some of you can relate the the psychological effects of acne, that being low self confidence, no self esteem, difficult to trust people, self concious- the list is endlesss :surprised: I have many friends and I usually make a point of telling my close friends how I feel so that they can understand to some extent the moods I go through and how I sometimes feel uncomfortable in various social situations. Obviously they insist they understand but no one truly understands unless they are going through it, hence this blog :(

Anyways, my close friends are nethertheless very supportive and I appreciate their efforts to understand and sympathise. My acne has bothered me more and more as I've grown up and has now reached a point where I think my acne has made me into who I am today. Don't get me wrong, i'm not some hermit who locks herself in a room all day and refuses to leave... I socialise and minus my acne I am a happy person. However I do believe that without my acne I would be a more confident and self assured person. Since being refferred to the dermatologist I have been through my hardest days, including some where I just cried every morning when looking in the mirror first thing, because it really has become my life. Every morning and night, I look at my skin, I don't seem to notice anything else... not out of vanity but more out of insecurity :cry:

Yeah so mornings can be the hardest, when I know I have to go to school and face hundreds of people with clear or acne-free skin while they stare at my face. Although I am assured it's all in my head. This resulted in mornings of crying and not wanting to go to school.

My dermatologist has been excellent and very understanding, I went through duac, differin, conraceptive, antibiotic, before being assigned hyfrecation and accutane.

Hyfrecation is where my face was covered in local anaesthetic cream and then covered in cling film for an hour to be absorbed, It was then removed and I laid on a bed. They used a small machine with a blunt electric needle to open up all my blocked pores (mainly on my cheeks and lower face) so that HOPEFULLY the roaccutane won't make my face get diastorous before it begins to improve. I am prepared to suffer the full effects of accutane if it means the clear skin I so long for! My brother used roaccutane as he suffered from very severe acne so I am fully aware of it's effects as he suffered from depression and dry lips, sweating e.t.c. But now has skin which I strongly envy! :( He has reassured me that this will be the best thing I ever do in my life. And I already agree :(

I am classed as moderate to severe acne and am on day 2 of roccutane, so far no side effects or other effects on my skin. For now I have been prescribed, 30mg a day.

I'll keep you posted now and again and I hope some of you guys can help me through my course and visa versa. Much love! The beginning of the end BEGINS :(...



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