I already have a lot of posts on this thing and I haven't even started the drug yet. Well, I offifically have 3 nodules on my left cheek, and they hurt so bad I couldn't sleep last night, so my derm told me to come in tomorrow and they are doing to give me some injections. I've had these before, and they work great, but I am worried about atrophy. I had a little of that one time, but it's almost all gone now and that was like, a month ago. I don't understand how in a matter of weeks, my skin went from moderate to severe like this? It's really awful, I feel horrible, and I haven't even stared taking anything yet....jeeze. Sometimes I wonder what I did wrong, why am I being punished? Why don't I seem to get anything I want, and why does everyone else seem to? Why is everything so much easier for everyone else and it's so hard for me? It's not fair. And I am so tired of it not being fair. I just want to look in the mirror and not see a monster, and have the man I love love me back. I don't think either of those 2 things are a lot to ask for. If I knew the last time I saw him was the last time, I would have kissed him longer, better, I would have done more, been better...somehow. I dunno, I would just savor it more. Sometimes I think maybe I died a long time ago, and now I'm in hell, and the only reason good things ever happen to me is just so they can be taken away from me and make the sting that much worse. Maybe hell isn't really a place of fire and brimstone, maybe you're just tricked into thinking you're really alive, that way you always have hope to be crushed. Maybe I should just accept I will never be happy.