Please accept my apologies for the long absence. I've been trekking across the outer Hibridean islands on horseback for the past three months. That, of course, is a lie.
Well, I finished my accutane course as quietly, unceremoniously and discreetly as a 67th birthday. There was no fanfare, nor a specific moment I feel I shall remember forever. I was actually surprised when my final pill came, and I can't even remember specifically when that was.
Five times out of ten I look in the mirror and think, "Man, I still don't like my face, I still wear shitloads of make up and I still don't want to go camping," and then try to remind myself that only the red marks remain and these will fade in time. But I hear (read) other people talking (writing) about red marks, and when I see their pictures, their red marks are only a fraction of what mine are like. How long will it take for them to piss off? Seriously. Anyone? Anyone?
I actually wrote all of the above about a month ago. Since then, I can comfortably report that my red marks have been sloooooowly fading. My former bitterness over them now strikes me as having been a little over the top. After all, Jesus didn't walk on water on day one, did he? I think it's easy to continue to skeptical, but at the end of the day my life has entirely changed from the skin perspective. Yes, I still wear make up (lots of it) and I am still not entirely comfortable putting my hair in a ponytail due to fear of pitting and make up line being seen, but the biggest transformation was emotional. I don't feel defeated every day by the discovery of newer spots or worry about my skin looking like the Rockys. I can declare with 100% certainty that I haven't had a new blemish for this long since I was quite literally a child, and even with lingering red marks that feels damn good.
My biggest worry about finishing accutane was, of course, the acne returning. I couldn't imagine the oiliness coming back without the acne too. The oil did indeed come back, particularly affecting my previously adored hair washing schedule (I am back to washing once every two days), but the oiliness is much less severe and seems to have settled down now rather than gradually worsened. But most importantly, I've had maybe one tiny blemish since finishing accutane several months ago, which disappeared within and day and caused me no more than a pitiful wisp of worry. Of course, I say all this whilst not just touching wood, but laying and gyrating across a vast wooden table in a bid to avoid tempting fate.
I will post a picture update soon (I've been touching my face a lot so I don't feel it's looking as good right now as it could) as well a few more words, of which I have many, but right now I need to figure out what to do about my foster cat having just ingested two elastic bands and how to paint my nails given that I cut a giant gash into and through my finger and nail this morning.