Have to wait about 3 more weeks until I get the Accutane. I hate waiting, I just want to do it and get it over with. I have been having one of the worst breakouts ever these past couple of weeks and I don't know why, maybe it's the warmer weather or the humidity, but whatever, I feel absolutely awful. I don't want to leave my house, I don't want to do anything. I thought about calling in ugly to work today. I just look in the mirror and see a monster, a freak. I know it will probably be bad for the first few months on accutane too, but at least then I will know there will be relief soon. Right now, I just feel like everyone is staring at me all the times and they're thinking I'm gorss or dirty or that I don't wash my face, or that I must eat greasy food all the time. It hurts to look down at the ground and not want to look at people or talk to them, and hope they don't think you're rude. I'm not rude, I'm just insecure.
Right now, I have about 4 big bumps on my forehead and 2 cysts on my left cheek that hurt very much. They're right next to each other too, so they look like some kind of a leision. got another forming near those that will probably be pretty big. my right side is covered in small red marks, chin too. Make up doesn't help at all. Why is this happening to me? Why am I 24 and look 15? Why does everyone I see have perfect skin? I just feel really down on myself and am starting to feel like maybe my boyfriend broke up with me beacuse I'm ugly. My friends want me to go out on a boat with them next week, but I don't want to be in water, outside, in the sun like this. I don't want to be around this girl I went to highschool with whose married now with a boob job. I just feel like "the ugly friend." I know I'm throwing a pity party for myself and I need to get over it, but I don't know how. I feel like I'm going crazy. I really wish there was something I could do, I'm in pain! Physical and emotional. I can't take much more.