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My Acne Story

DokuroChan

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Hello everyone! I'm very happy that you decided to read this. It's very helpful to finally be able to write all this down and get it off my chest. I wanted to talk about my acne and what I hope to obtain in the future regarding this problem. First off, I have been struggling with acne since I was 12 years old (I am currently 17). I am going to be a senior in High School next year and I'm in hopes of it being my one and only best school year ever. I say this because every year my acne and insecurity have caused me to hide myself from others as well as prevent me from doing normal teenage activities. I have cloths that I want to wear but can't because of my severe acne. (I know I could wear them if I wanted to, but the fact is that I wouldn't feel pretty while wearing them. I also know that people would possibly make fun of me for trying to look good when my face looks so bad...). I want to be able to hang out with friends and have sleepovers with the girls and not have to worry about my face getting in the way. Whenever I'm invited somewhere my automatic response is 'Sorry, I'm going to be doing something that day.' I want to be able to say 'Sure, I would love to come!' and smile while I'm saying it. I stay locked up in my house and only come out if it's for school or if I'm made to go into town. I have considered homeschooling until my acne clears up but I don't think it would be possible. Every day at school is like a nightmare. I walk in the door with my head hung low and always avoid looking others in the eye. Even when I'm speaking to someone, my eyes just can't meet theirs. I wear my hair up everyday in the same style so my hair won't aggravate my acne. I have really long hair that I desperately want to let down so others can see but am too afraid to do so. I want to be able to do my hair in different styles like all the other girls. I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. Is it so selfish of me to want to live life like a normal teenage girl? I can't write down how many times I have cried because of my acne. Sometimes I just go in my room and cry until I fall asleep. I lose all hope sometimes and think to myself, 'Your never going to be beautiful...' I want to look pretty for my boyfriend even though he already calls me beautiful now. Although I know he means it, I myself don't feel that way. I also want to feel beautiful myself. I have gotten teased many times in my life. Sometimes it's kids my own age, sometimes it's adults. Other times it's little children who don't know what acne is. It hurts so bad when a young child comes up to me and ask, 'What's wrong with your face?' I don't know how I'm supposed to reply to that...Anyway, if you have been reading this I want to say thank you for taking your time to get to know me. I know I'm not the only one that struggles with this problem as I know I'm not the only one to yearn for simple wants. I'm looking forward to the day when all my acne is gone so I can finally start living.



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