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Day 9

Accutane Experience

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My skin's not much better today. It still looks rashy and puffy, like the texture of an orange. It's strange, I noticed this morning it's smooth around my eyes, then the orange skin texture below, starting on my cheeks. So attractive! At least I can wear make up. I have 2 new pimples besides the one on my forehead (that's mostly healed), and the HUGE one between my eyes. They are painful, since my skin is feeling tight, and raw right now. The best way to describe it is like a sunburn. Ouch. Also, the corner of my mouth is starting to crack and get red and dry, so I've been applying Aquaphor to that too.

I've only told a few people that I've decided to go on Accutane, well Claravis. It's a personal decision and not something I want to discuss with everyone. I don't talk about my zits to everyone, so why would I want to talk about how I'm treating them? I have told my mom and 2 of my close friends. Today I mentioned to one of these friends that I was having a hard time already with my new medication, and I was uncomfortable today. Big mistake. I got a big dose of don't come crying to me, because you decided to go on his horrendous medication.

My clear-skinned friend went and googled Accutane after I told her I was going on it. She said my skin was nowhere near the pictures she found and she would never risk her health, just to not have acne. I really started to get upset when we were talking. This wasn't a decisions I took lightly. I have known about Accutane for years, and it took me years to decide that this was the only option left for me. I truly believe acne is a disease and does affect many aspects of your day to day life. We all know that all to well. She told me to make sure I don't get pregnant (no $hit), and asked if I was seeing a dermatologist for advice. Huh? How could I not?

So then we talked about how it's all very regulated now, the pregnancy tests before the prescriptions is dispensed, the 2 forms of birth control, etc. Then she said she heard I had to sign something saying I'm aware of all of the other side effects and asked if that was regulated. Sigh. I am fully aware of what this can do to me.

I also have managed to go just about half of my life, around 15 years, and not got pregnant yet, so I'm more than likely not going to spontaneously get pregnant within the next 4 months while using an additional form of birth control! Seriously. Also, I am not some vain person who just wants to never have a tiny little pimple again, so I decided all willy-nilly to just go on this medication. (THAT COULD KILL ME! GASP) What I wish I would have said to her: Please give me some credit, because I am an educated adult who makes informed decisions about my health.

That is all I have to say about that. And thank goodness for this website and everybody here who can understand what we're each going through, because you may run into people who are less than supportive of your choices, and you may not even know it....



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Hi,It's such a joke isn't it when people are like that. I completely understand when you are coming from, do they look in the mirror every day and hate what they see, do they have their social life around what spots have appeared and how well can i hide them! It's the classic story of until you have got something like this nobody knows how they would deal with it. I am 35 for god sake and I don't think I should have to deal with this rubbish after all these years and I don't think I am vain to think like that. I have told a few people at work and my parents and Bfriend of course, I only told work so that when I look like someone who has just been dug up with skin hanging off everywhere and bleeding lips - they will know that the reason it this! My job doesn't really allow me to hide at home either, I will have to face everyone in the office daily so might aswell be open about it!Am going to strat my blog this weekend as today is day 1 and am scared/excited!Anyway don't let this upset you we know why we are doing it and that's all that matters and when you are looking hot she will want a dose the might Accutane :)

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Hey Shana,Sounds like a rough week so far.. sorry to hear that you confided in a friend about your experience and it led to a complete lack of sympathy/empathy...Acne is a disease: it is painful and leaves scars inside and out. With us undergoing the "nuclear bomb" of acne treatment - it is soooo much more then just a vanity thing! Clear skin will help restore self-esteem and confidence. We won't have to hide behind our hair anymore! iPlege makes it impossible for us NOT to realize the risk associated with this medication! Especially the pregnancy bit (hence the little pregnant woman with a big fat red line through it on EVERY pill cover!) ggeeeezzzz....I had a similar experience with my sister-in-law who happens to be one of my best friends...ironically, she works in a dermatologist office- and does medical transcription. I was apprehensive to tell her about going on accutane, and when I told her - she went off! After a ten minute lecture - we argued about it for maybe twenty minutes, and then had to end the conversation by 'agreeing to disagree'. From many people - I heard "your skin really isn't that bad!" WELL, you live in this skin for four years and get back to me - I can guarantee that you will change your statement!!!Hang in there! The weekend is just about here - that is always a good thing!!!

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Thanks for the support and encouragement ladies. I feel better about it today. I've just decided not to tell anyone else about it. I don't want to deal with defending my decision while I'm going through this. It helps so much to hear from everyone here!

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