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Week Twelve: Day Seventy-Nine

TTPW4227

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Alrighty! I'm gonna start posting skin stuff towards the beginning of the blog and THEN ramble on about my life! That way if I have any readers they'll actually get the information they're probably looking for!

So my redmarks are starting to fade now! (I've been using AHA)

And I started breaking out A LOT. I think its, . . . pfft. I don't know what it is really.

But I started using more BP, like a finger and a third. There's no redness or irritation.

I have been more dry than usual, but that was before I upped the BP dosage so I think its the use of AHA+ nightly. I'll probably skip a night soon.

As for my life I realized microwaving oven pizzas makes them taste HORRIBLE! I mean like,..I want to puke horrible. So I'm NEVER doing that again. I'm hoping that curbed my craving for crud-food. I really want to be more healthy! But fruits and veggies NEVER fill me up. Bread does but I'm trying to cut back on that. And if I'm not incredibly full its really hard for me to resist sweets if they're offered or floating around someplace. Basically I have very minimal self control v.v

But thats all gonna change. Its easy for me to let it all out on the weekends because I have little responsibility. No chores, usually not a lot of homework, etc. I would go for a real long bike ride but its raining so I can't or else I'll relapse more :\

Basically I have little to do so I eat. And if I'm eating for the sake of eating, I'll probably go for something tasty and horrible for me. And if I try to eat less I end up being either REALLY hungry or my cravings get REALLY hard to control. But I don't want to be a slave to food. I want to find fulfillment within myself. Whenever I eat food thats bad for me or perhaps a lot of tasty healthy food I feel happy. Whenever I kill myself exercising I'm miserable at first but then I'm REALLY happy. Both of these happy-s are temporary. But I'm anything but consistent so I rarely lose or gain weight. I lost ten pounds real quick during my first 'relationship'. But I ate like a bowl of cereal, a granola bar, and whatever was for dinner. I don't have another person to distract me or curb my appetite! (I get embarrassed eating in front of other people so I'll actually starve myself if I'm in company whose opinion I care about) Ergh. I'm gonna start being more strict with myself. Also one of my teeth hurts. I wish I knew why v.v



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