Being crippled in an acne ridden life has caused me grief for the past year or so, trying desperately not to look in mirrors for the sake of shedding tears. You may say i now have the fear of mirrors or reflections. What i used for my advantage every day is now the facade mess of what i endure. Although my acne comes and goes as it pleases, it's nice to know my skin does not heal the way i want it to.
Red marks or i guess hyperpigmentation, is the culprit of my disease. I curse the day my skin stopped getting rid of the ability to take away this culprit. What could have caused it? Certainly not diet,stress, or any common factor of acne. It was simple, a curse from the Gods to show that beauty is indeed the eye of the beholder. What i cherished everyday in mirrors is my downfall in my self dignity. Whether or not i believe it or so.
You would probably ask me if i had try medication or over the counter stuff that certainly may have fixed your problem. But alas my skin is complex and having tried MULTIPLE combinations of EVERYTHING or changing diets, lessening stress. drinking more water, getting more sleep, have not stopped it. Maybe what i need is a mental image derived in my mind of how i looked a year ago every time i step in front of a mirror. To disguise my blotchy ridden face of how miserable i feel inside and out.
Envy is my sole feeling i have right now for every acnefree face i see from my friends and everyone else. I envy the way they can look in the mirrors and worry about 1 pimple they see. Freaking out just because of one pimple. PSH if only they knew the pain and anguish i felt trying to get rid of this disease will they find out how badly i feel. They assume that i have to live with it and will enventually give up. And so i have for the time being.
Until the next blog...