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popping my accutane cherry



So I'm 21 and still have the same annoying problem. Random cystic acne on just my chin. One of those underground painful shitholes at a time. Everything else on my face is good to go, but then I get a huge painful cyst (it is too fucking big to be classified as a pimple) on my chin. It is 3D and impossible to cover. Stands out like no other.

Having these cyst puts me in an awful mood. I don't want to go out and do anything because it's an entire ordeal to attempt to cover it (with my amazing bareminerals), and make-up can only do so much! I don't want to go to the beach/swimming because then my mask will come off and my huge zit is out there for everyone to see! I don't sleep at my boyfriends because my face washing is vital, and if I do, I sleep with my make-up on (which I HATE DOING) plus I hide my lower face until I am able to do a touch up. NOT A WAY TO LIVE!!

My dermatologist hates me. I am up in her face all the time. Always trying something new to try and solve my problem. I have been on every 'cyclyne' there is, bc, do all the recommendations (certain shampoos, ect.), I'm obsessed with washing my face twice a day and use the best stuff out there, but this shit is still going on. So as she promised, when my face has exhausted all her options, accutane is the next step.

I took my first pill today and am paranoid of all the side effects they scare you about. NO DRINKING FOR 6 MONTHS. Real cool. And I got it just in time for summer! So I get to be the sun screen addict with a hat on. Nice.

I just want clear skin. I want to wake up wash my face, look in the mirror, and not want to cry. I want to wear just a little bit of make-up, I want to jump in a fucking pool.


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