Soooo yah, I'm finally taking the plunge. After being poked, prodded, lasered, dermabrased, drugged (antibiotics and BCP galore), and every OTC line imaginable I found a doc that is on board with me and Accutane. I used to be in denial about my skin. Oh, it's not bad enough for Accutane I would tell myself. But at the same time I would avoid mirrors - like an alcoholic on Dr Drews show drinking a handle of Captain a day... DENIAL. The thought of going outside without makeup terrified me. What if someone saw me like this?!?!?! Ugh.
My skin was mild/moderate in high school, then went to mild and somewhat managable with Proactiv or Murad my last years of high school and majority of college. But then those wouldn't work. So I tried Kiehls. Which helped but didn't make it go away.And then I graduated. And it kept getting worse. But then my 20s hit, and it got worse. Cystic worse, jawline, cheek, painful. And even the tiny ones left the brightest redmarks you would think i was attacked by fireants! Dark hole in the wall dive bars became my haven for a social life. Cosmetics were my crack. Primer, preconceal, foundation, post conceal, finishing powder. Literally my mask to hide behind.
It sucks because when you have bad skin (like us on the org do) you come to accept somewhat of an improvement as "as good as it gets." But then my roommate with perfect skin would ask if I was gonna do my makeup before we went out. I had already. I'm sorry Ms Perfect skin never had a pimple bigger than a penmark, let me go hide in my cave like Quasimodo so as to not embarass you or throw off your game.
My boyfriend lives in my old hometown so I would go down to visit for weekends at a time. I would stay up longer than he would at night just so I could wait till he was asleep to take off my makeup and prep my skin. I would wake up in the middle of the night/early morning (he gets up early) to put on some bare minerals concealer so he wouldnt see me au naturale when he/we woke up. His skin is perfect. But because of Accutane. He was the one that finally changed my mind. He came up here and saw my cabinet of potions. He saw stuff he tried in high school and told me to cut the crap and just do it, it worked for him, and was totally worth it. He was right! Why delude myself to think "it's not that bad"?!!? Oh but it is. But not anymore (I hope), I start Accutane this week.
I'll post some photos of my most recent breakout (starting my cycle next week so yay PMS, bloating, and breakouts... mmmmm I will be super sexy for Valentines. Wonderful. Thursday is my appointment. The say of reckoning, vive la revolucion! As Mel and Danny say in Lethal Weapon 4 (yah I just dated myself, you know you love those movies too..) "I'm too old for this sh***"