I AM HATING THE LEFT SIDE OF MY FACE RIGHT NOW. The two cysts I had there pre-tane that i THOUGHT were shrinking have morphed into one MEGA cyst and I think added another cyst with the conglomerate. The rest if my face is actually pretty smooth with makeup on, and this STUPID ULTRA MEGA CYST just sticks out and looks sooooo bad. You know when you get a group of cysts that make you look like you have deep scarring (because the raised surface makes the non-raised surface look like indents? I HATE THAT. I DONT HAVE INDENTS!!)
So, even though I have pretty much retired from my pageant career, I'm attending the Miss West chester University Pageant this Saturday (I was Miss West Chester University 2008, formers usually come back to welcome the new titleholder) and I really don't want to show up to this with my face as much of a mess as it is. I have a hot-hot pink dress I bought to wear (makes my butt looking phenom-if I do say so myself, and I do hahaha) I'm also SICKLY pale, but obviously can't tan on the 'tane...so I can't believe I'm doing this, but after swearing off the mystic tan booth forever after leaving pageants....I might go get misted with some fake sun....the intellectual/feminist/humanist/real beauty advocate inside of me is dying a little bit inside right now. Maybe I'll just wear black and it won't matter that I'm pale. And have a cheek that looks like someone punched it. errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. This is why I quit. Not because of acne, but because of getting wrapped up in things that are CLEARLY NOT IMPORTANT and believing they're hugely important. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of positives, especially in the pageants I chose to compete in, but its getting to the point in my intellectual development where I can no longer defend my involvement in pageantry, as a self-professed 'artist'. But all in all, its paid for a couple years of school and taught me how to exercise and eat really effectively, so it definitely didn't hurt me!
Anyway, I'm going to neosporin the shit out of my cheek this week. cross your fingers that my face becomes acceptable.